Week 10 Review

Before
Week 10 with my little Aidan

Another week down for Michelle the friendly juice feaster. It has been quite a week. I learned some important things about myself this week.

As you all know, I had a bit of a rough week with the parasite cleanse and all. I was sick for 8 days straight. I suffered through feeling awful as I have so many times in the past. It wasn't until I spoke with David Rain and he said that if I was feeling sick I could stop the parasite cleanse did that thought ever enter my mind.

I realized that I am still not listening to my body enough. I am so used to being tough, pushing through and suffering that I don't notice when my body is saying "stop!" Here I think I am doing such a great thing and getting in touch with myself yet I still turn a deaf ear. It is important for me to recognize this about myself and to use it as an opportunity to learn. I could keep doing the same thing I have always done or I can choose to learn, expand and grow. I chose the later.

I also had the opportunity to spend the week without exercise. I did nothing last week and normally I would feel this underlying guilt like I wasn't doing what I should. I am happy to announce that not only did I listen to my body in this regard, I didn't feel guilty about it. I took it easy and I am back on track this week. Awesome.

We all know that I had a great success with my dinner last night. I am still riding the wave of that high. My father commented on what willpower I have and how he can't believe it. I laughed and said that if we came here the first month of my juice feast I would have run out of there crying. Now, it didn't have anything to do with willpower. I was over it. Yes!!!

I started working with David Rain this week and I have to say that it is incredible. I am so grateful that I did it (even though it was a bit of fight on the home front for the $$ :o). I have found myself realizing that I can't do everything alone. I have suffered for years and years with all of these issues and I always try to do it alone. You know, I am tough, I am smart, I can do it. Well, you know what? I can't do everything and it is OK to get help. It is OK to be vulnerable. This is HUGE for me!

I told my husband that it is like I was sitting on the ground with all of these puzzle pieces and I just couldn't figure it out. It is like David is up on a hill with a better viewpoint and he can look down and see the puzzle and put it all together. I only wish I would have done it sooner. Ha ha, I guess I wouldn't have learned my lesson now would I?

Once again it has been an honor to share this week with all of you wonderful juice feasters! Keep on juicing everyone!!!

Day 70

Photo by Country Girl at Heart on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart celery, spinach, orange

1 quart celery, leaf lettuce, tomato, cilantro, lemon, bean sprouts, garlic

1 quart celery, romaine, tomato, snap peas, bean sprouts, garlic

1 quart celery, romaine, mango, pineapple

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 141.5

Oh my gosh, I finally lost some weight. It's been ages! Yippee! 32 lbs baby!

Sleep
8 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Colon Cleanse
MSM

Exercise
Did some walking outside.

Physically
I had a great day. My energy is up, the weather was fantastic and I felt so happy all day. I had no headache! I did have a weird thing happen. I went and got a double shot of wheatgrass juice at Jamba Juice. I have done this a bunch of times before and during the juice feast (I always forget to write it down). Well today it made me nauseaus. I was feeling sick for quite a while with waves of nausea. I have heard other people talk about this but I have never experienced it. Today was a first. It passed after about 1 1/2 -2 hours.

Emotionally
I had a great day emotionally. I felt so light and happy, like I wanted to jump and sing. It is wonderful. I can honestly say that feeling lousy really gives you an appreciation for feeling good.

Cravings
NONE!

Meditation
None

Ramblings
It's amazing to me that I felt as good as I did today since I was plagued with nightmares all night. I kept waking myself up in the middle of nightmares that had to do with serial killers, murderous plans, and accidental family deaths. It was pretty bad. Usually when I have these kinds of dreams I feel a bit funky all day long. Luckily I was able to shake it off pretty easily. I haven't had nightmares like this in a while so I am wondering why now. Bizarre.

I have also noticed that my hair is falling out again. This happened to me when I went raw before. It was really bad. I have really thick hair and I lost so much of it I had to get a new haircut to make it look better. I was used to getting haircuts for a person with thick hair and my girl had to give me a cut for a person with thin hair. It was a bit scary and was one of the things that pushed me to stop eating raw. Now, my hair is not falling out as much as before but I was pulling out quite a bit while brushing so I guess it may be coming again. Ugh! I don't like it.

I was so thrilled with myself today. I went to the previous mentioned Italian restaurant with my family. I sat at the table as they dipped the bread in the oil and cheese. I dished out the spaghetti and meatballs and chicken parmigiana to my kids. I passed the roasted potatoes, the mushroom ravioli, the chopped salad, and the lasagna and I watched as they ate lemon cookies. And guess what!!! I could have cared less!!! I mean it. I really didn't care. There wasn't a little part of me niggling away and feeling bad while I put on a happy face. I truly didn't care. It was awesome!

I feel so empowered today. Going out to that restaurant was like winning a prestigious award. No one else gave me any recognition though. I don't need it. I rocked it out tonight and I feel like I am in charge of my life in a way that I have never been before. It is so cool! I finally feel like I am me. I am Michelle. I am not my father's daughter, my children's mother, my husbands wife. I am just me. Who I am meant to be for better or for worse and I make my decisions and I live the life I choose. It feels fantastic!

Day 69

Photo by Micheo on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, celery, orange

1 quart leaf lettuce, celery, tomato, garlic, cilantro

1 quart romaine, mango, orange, celery

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ???

Sleep
12 hours

Yes, I slept 12 hours Friday Night. I went to bed at 8:30 and got up at 8:30. Phew!

Supplements
Probiotic
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
MSM

Ramblings
I am keeping this post short again because I have fallen behind in my posts yet again. Yesterday I was so relieved to be feeling better. I had a slight headache throughout the day but nothing compared to Friday so it was no biggie.

Yesterday hit 60 degrees and oh my goodness did it feel good to get outside with my family and friends. Being in the sun is so delicious. We were out all day. The kids played baseball, basketball, football, rode scooters, bikes and more. Our friends came and went all day and we always had someone outside playing. It was awesome. We had some friends over for in the evening to play cards and it was a lot of fun. A good day.

My stomach was a bit funny after drinking a couple of my juices yesterday. A lot of gurgling and a bit of bloating. I don't really know what that is about. It may just be left over from my Friday troubles so I will see how it goes today.

I am going to my favorite Italian restaurant tonight for my dad's birthday. It should be interesting to sit there while everyone is eating pasta, bread and all of my "old" favorite foods. Another test for Michelle. :o)

It is going to be another beautiful day and I plan to spend it out and about as much as possible. Hopefully I will be able to post tonight. Probably I will. Have a great Sunday everyone!

Day 68

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, orange, celery

1 quart romaine, celery, garlic, tomato, cilantro

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ??

Sleep
7.5 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Parasite cleanse

Ramblings
Since I am writing this a day late I will be keeping it short. I will post about today later. Yesterday was rough!!! Probably the worst day I have had since beginning this feast. It was the first day I was to increase my dose of the parasite cleanse and holy moly did it do me in. I was on the couch suffering the whole day and I went to bed at 8:30 because I just couldn't stand feeling the way I did anymore. The best thing to do is go to sleep and hope for the best in the morning.

I spoke with David and he said that I should stop the parasite cleanse because it could be that it is not agreeing with me. I just figured it was working but I can see now that I doubled it that it is just wreaking havoc on my system. I have done a parasite cleanse before and didn't have this problem. I am doing the Parastroy cleanse instead of the better one. I guess I will have to try the other one when I go back to it later.

So that is my day in a nutshell. Lots of fun. I will let you know that I am feeling better today but more about that later.

Day 67

Photo by Setev on flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart celery, spinach, orange

1 quart celery, Boston lettuce, mango, kiwi

1 quart romaine, celery, tomato, cilantro, alfalfa sprouts

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 144

I have been stuck at this same weight for a couple of weeks now and I am over it! :o) It's not fun because my skinny jeans are starting to feel tight again. What's up with that?

Sleep
7 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Parasite cleanse

Exercise
None - I hurt my neck yesterday. It is a bit better today but I don't want to make it worse so I am taking it easy.

Physically
I visited enemaville this morning and it helped my headache a bit. Not totally, but better. I am feeling very bloated and my heartburn is growing. Still manageable because it is under the surface but it is growing.

Positive changes
Same

Detox
Same

Emotionally
Boy this was an up and down day. I started out feeling OK. I went for coffee (I had chamomile tea) around lunch time and that was fun. Then I went to my son's volleyball game and it was a painful loss. It got me a bit agitated. Then I was BORED. I was bored with music, bored with juice, bored with everything. I was feeling antsy. Now I am just tire. It's weird.

Cravings
Chinese food.
French fries
Sausages

Meditation

Perfection

There is an innate perfection that pervades all of life. The rosebud is as complete in its perfection as the rose in full bloom. That same perfection is in the faded rose petals and even when they decay and offer themselves back to the soil.

Are there ways in which you are striving to get things right, struggling to make them more perfect, pleading, "If only...then I could finally relax"?

What if you were to stop playing God for a moment. Stop trying to fix, change and perfect what is already perfect? Just relax - fall into the divine perfection that permeates the whole Universe, and which suffuses each moment. Rest in it, bathe in it, deeply relax in the knowledge that things are perfect just as they are.

God does not need your help to make life more perfect.

Ramblings

It's funny, when I first started reading this I thought it didn't really apply to me. Then I got to the second paragraph and I could see the connection. If only ... then I could finally relax. I have been feeling like that a lot lately. I have been feeling driven to do something, do anything. To finish this feast to move on with my life, to take this class, to learn this new thing or that new thing. Then finally I will have the answers, I will be complete.

Ha ha, you think I would learn this. I have even talked about it here on this blog. There is no there. There is only here. I will never get "there" unless I am here. It makes so much sense and it resonates with me and then I forget. I imagine the more I remember the easier it will become.

Sometimes I feel like life is a big University... the University of Life. There are all kinds of classes to take, health and nutrition, parenthood, relationships, love, etc. You sign up for classes, some you love, some...not so much. Everyday you learn something new. Sometimes it is easy to learn and other times it is a struggle. You study and you study and yet some of the facts slip away. As you progress through the classes; relationships 101, 102, 103, 201... suddenly after being immersed in the material for more and more time things begin to click. What was once abstract and difficult is second nature and easy. You begin to "get it." You begin to live it.

I am progressing through my classes and some things are easy and others are difficult. I keep going to class, I keep studying and I keep learning new things. Everyday something becomes easier for me, something becomes part of my being. I am not ready to graduate the University of Life yet because I have so much to learn. So many fascinating classes are being offered and I want to take them all. I want to experience all that this beautiful university has to offer so that I can grow and expand.

Day 66

Photo by Klein Matt 66 on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, orange, coconut oil, chlorella
I was out of celery. Oops.

1 quart Boston lettuce, tomato, lemon, celery, snap peas, garlic, spirulina

1 quart romaine, pineapple, mango, celery

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ??

Sleep
7 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Parasite Cleanse

Exercise
None

Physically
Something is definitely going on with me physically. I am having 2 BMs each day and still having headaches and feeling really bad. When I was pregnant with my first son I got a heart arrhythmia. I had it tested and it is not the dangerous type. Since then I have continued to have it. I notice that it seems to flare up when my body is under stress. I used to have it when I was hungover all the time and I could usually tell when I was getting sick before any symptoms because my heart would start skipping beats. Well it happened again today so I know something is going on.

My fluid filled bump is also back today. Strangest thing. I hate to even say this but I also had a bit of heartburn today. Boo hoo! It wasn't horrible, but it was there. I am thinking about stopping the chlorella and spirulina again to see if that helps. Nothing else has really changed much.

Positive changes
Skin smooth
Lost weight

Detox
Headache
Coated tongue
Tons of mucus in throat, runny nose
Fluid filled bump on inner lip

Emotionally
I am feeling rather low key today. Tired, dull, lifeless and unattached. It's a bummer. This is usually my happy time in my "womanly cycle" and for the second time it isn't really that happy. Hopefully it will get better. I have to double my parasite pills in a couple of days though so who knows.

Cravings
None

Meditation
None

Ramblings
There is something about the number 66 that I find attractive. I just couldn't let the day go by without posting a picture of it. Seems silly I know but oh well.

I am very excited because I have a meeting with David Rain on Friday. I can't wait to see what he has to say. I will have to be good about writing down questions so I don't forget anything.

OK, I know most of you probably aren't watching American Idol and I probably shouldn't be either BUT I do and Michael Johns' last performance was really awesome! I loved it! I actually have to close my eyes when I listen because his movements annoy me but the song moves me.

Since we are on the topic of music and American Idol I want to talk about the Clark Brothers. They also performed on AI tonight. They won The Next Great American Band and there is something really special about them. They have this passion when they play that you can absolutely feel. They can rock it out and they have a soft, gentle side too. You can feel the emotion pouring out of the lead singer when he sings that last song. Wow. I just can't help but smile.

By the way, I don't even really like country music. Pretty funny huh?

So I guess this could win the award for the most off topic post I have ever given you. Hee hee. It was fun though. xo

Day 65

Photo by Beautiful Cataya on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, celery, orange, coconut oil, cholorella

1 quart romaine, celery, apple, kiwi

1 quart romaine, tomato, cilantro, celery, lime, spirulina

1 quart romaine, celery, mango, pineapple

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ??

Sleep
6 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Parasite cleanse

Exercise
None - I jumped up from my computer and said to my husband, "I am going to go to Pilates class tonight at 7:00." As I finished the sentence I looked at the clock and it was 6:57. Ugh. No time. I have to be better about making it a priority because I really did want to go.

Physically
Headache on and off today. I am also having a lot of mucus and I got a big fat pimple on my eyebrow. Ouch. I had 2 bowel movements today and I still feel constipated.

Positive changes
Skin smooth

lost weight

Detox
Headache

Coated tongue

Mucus in throat

Pimples

Emotionally
I had a busy day today and I felt good emotionally. I am thinking I may be a bit disconnected which goes along with my ego fixation. On the enneagram I am a core 8 fixation but I have been living as a 9. The 9s are known as the peacemakers. On the unhealthy side they tend to shut down their emotions both good and bad and they can be sleepy and a bit lazy. I actually napped today so I am thinking my 9 fixation may be rearing its head. (Not all napping has something to do with ego fixations. This is simply my personal observation of things going on in my life right now.)

Cravings
None - I smelled my son's burrito tonight because I was hungry but I didn't really want to eat it.

Meditation
None

Ramblings
I am amazed that I managed to get 4 quarts in today. The thing is that I was pretty hungry today, more so than usual. I am actually still hungry at midnight which is weird. I realize I may need to drink some water but I won't do it this late at night.

Things are moving along smoothly in my life at the current moment. There are several things that are falling into place nicely and it is seeming rather effortless (ha ha, that was yesterday's meditation). It is so wonderful when things like this happen.

The photo above is the Cloud Gate in Millennium Park here in Chicago. It was created to reflect the clouds in the skyline. A lot of people like to call it the big bean which I think sounds dumb. I think it is just beautiful in an odd way. I love the smooth shape, and the way it reflects its surroundings.

I don't actually spend much time in the city of Chicago. I live about 45-60 minutes outside of the city and I just don't have much reason to go there. I don't enjoy the crazy driving and parking is a joke. It seems that once I get down there I enjoy it so I should just block out time on my calendar (only when it is warm) and make myself go. My kids hardly ever go down there and it would be good for them to experience it.

I am setting the intention that when I finish this post and I go up to bed and drift off to sleep I will remember a dream. I haven't been remembering much and I want to. Let's see if it works.

Night night.

Day 64

Juices in order of consumption

1 quart spinach, orange, celery, coconut oil

1 quart romaine, celery, mango, pineapple, cilantro, garlic

I know it sounds like a weird combination and it kind of was but it was good. I used just a bit of cilantro and a small clove of garlic. It was nice to have something different.

1 quart romaine, celery, tomato, cilantro, garlic

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 145

Sleep
7 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Parasite cleanse

Exercise
Walked 1o min.

Physically
Headache, headache, headache today. It came about in the afternoon and I couldn't leave my little guy alone and go to enemaville so I suffered. Yuck. I have stopped taking the colon cleanse while doing the parasite cleanse because one of the pills is to move thing along but it doesn't seem to be working so I think I will add the colon cleanse again.

Positive changes
Skin smooth
lost weight
I thought my nails were getting stronger but they have started breaking again and they aren't really that long so I have to take this one away.

Detox
Headache
Coated tongue
Mucus

Emotionally
I am feeling very quiet today. Very still and introverted. It might be the weather. It is grey and stormy today.

Cravings
None

Meditation

Effortlessness

The nature of Grace is effortless ease. It has a natural flow, just as a river flows easily over and around smooth stones, with no need to fight, resist or remove the obstacles.

Are you trying to force or control something? Are you efforting to put a square peg into a round hole? Are you struggling to make things work in a particular way?

Just step back, breathe and open up to other possibilities.

Give up the notion that things have to be done in a fixed way and stop efforting.

Relax and trust that there is an effortless, guided way - maybe one you haven't yet thought of. Ask Grace for it to be revealed, and be willing to be guided - effortlessly.

Ramblings
The photo I have posted is of a journal page I created today. I was feeling like I wanted to create something so I got some stuff out and started playing around. It was fun and I thought I would share. I love the idea of writing on it. I just started writing whatever came to my mind. Writing and writing. Too fun.

I didn't do much else today. I caught up on blog posts from being gone for the weekend. I worked on my book a bit and caught up on some tv. I haven't been watching much. I like to watch Oprah's Big Give and then the Monday Oprah show. So I have just finished that and now I will hit the hay after posting.

It's always hard to post on Mondays. I've already said so much in my review. Hmmm, that's it. Good night. xo