Bookshelf Tango

I spent hours yesterday organizing my bookshelf in my office (or what we affectionately call the blue room) by color. I was inspired by the picture I found on flickr and posted on day 11. Now I don't have as many books as that woman so I had to do what I could. All the books on the top shelf are white, gold, brown or black. I was surprised how many white books I have!

I think it looks pretty good. My hubby, on the other hand does not like it at all. Oh well. I am not sure how practical it will be. I already found a few books that I forgot about and I don't really know what to do with them. Also I have books of so many different sizes that I pulled them all forward on the shelf so they would look consistent. Every time I pull one out I have to fix them. It might be worth it for the spectrum of color but then again, I don't know. I will keep it for a while and see how it goes.

I used to have my books categorized by the type of book; mosaic here, nutrition there, miscellaneous, spiritual etc. I had books filling up all the bookshelves (I have 4 more that are not photographed. Now I have all this empty space that I have to fill in so I am going to keep playing with it and see what I can do.

Week 2 Review

Photos from left to right: Before, week 1, week 2

I am posting my week 2 review separate today. I actually forgot to do it last night so here are the succession of photos. Hubby put up a new light bulb in the spot I take the pictures so you can notice the warmer color in the newest picture. Looks much nicer don't ya think? I am thrilled with the sparkle in my eyes. I guess it isn't just my imagination.

Overall it has been a fantastic week. I have been feeling so much better physically. My stomach isn't causing me many problems and my heartburn is officially a thing of the past! I can't believe it. I managed to stick through it and get to the other side. I must say that I am proud of myself.

I have lost a total of 10 lbs so far in these 2 weeks. I am not exactly sure where I want to be on the scale in the end because I know that once day 60 comes and I begin rebuilding my body and lifting weights it will change the way my body looks. I have never done that before so I always needed to be at 130 lbs to look good. Who knows what will happen. I will just wait and see.

This week has been so remarkable for me in regards to my emotions. This is something that I really wanted to focus on during this feast and I will tell you why. I have done "this" before. I have gotten healthy, lost weight and looked great only to fall off the wagon and go back to almost the exact same weight as I was before. I went raw for 4 months about 1 1/2 years ago and I felt great. I looked good and everyone was commenting on it. Well, fall came and one excuse after another and before long I was stuffing my face with anything and everything.

I knew this juice feast was going to be different because it would be a complete detox on the physical level and if I treated it as such, it would be a complete emotional detox as well. I want to get to the core issues that drive me to eat things I KNOW are not good for me, that make me feel lousy, and make me hold onto weight. I want to get to the core issues that keep me sitting on the couch and sedentary instead of using my body and getting it strong. I want to get to the core issues of why I have lived these 38 years without dealing with these core issues.

I don't want to fall off the wagon again. I don't want to get too lazy and too tired to take care of myself. I WON'T GO BACK! I WILL ONLY GO FORWARD!

This juice feast and this blog have become my job. I was struggling with trying to justify all the time I am spending doing all I need to do and finally I came to the conclusion that this is exactly where I need to be and what I need to be doing so that I may heal myself and make myself whole because without that I am not able to give to my loved ones all that I truly want to give from my heart.

I was surprised at how the disorganization in my home took center stage this week. It is something that I have struggled with since I was young and I know that I cannot be whole and healthy without dealing with it and clearing out the core issues that keep me from feeling I deserve a beautiful, peaceful home.

The greatest thing that happened to me over this week was the weekend that I shared with my husband. As you know we spent 2 whole days cleaning just one room in our house. We even skipped our night out to do it.

We were talking last night in our nice clean room and he was saying how much he enjoyed the weekend. I was a bit surprised that he would say that since we cleaned. He went on to say how nice it was that we worked together to do something and that we felt like a team. He said how happy he was that the room was cleaned and that we could begin to enjoy ourselves in there.

It's true. Something happened to me and I am less argumentative, less controlling, and less bossy. I am more willing to do the work and contribute my share. When I think back over our weekend I am floored by how effortless most of it was and how smooth it went. I am so grateful for the times when we were finished that we were able to lie in each other's arms and talk about the day from this place of peace and contentment for a job well done.

I am grateful for the support he gave when I needed it most. I am grateful for the help of my mom and the cooperation of my children. But most of all I am thankful for being loved by him and being loved by myself for the first time in a long life.

So overall I guess it was a great week!

Day 14

Photo by Green Apple Grenade on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
Bentonite and Psyllium shake

1quart orange, spinach, celery
4 oranges, 1/2 lb spinach, 2 stalks celery
Yummy

1 quart romaine, swiss chard, cucumber, carrot, garlic, parsley, hemp oil, kelp
1 lg head romaine, 2 stalks swiss chard, 1 cucumber, 2 garlic cloves, handful carrots, handful parsley
Yummy

1 quart spinach, pear, cucumber, blackberries
1/2 lb spinach, 1 pear, 1 cucumber, 6 oz. blackberries
Good.

Only 3 quarts again. When I sleep in late on the weekends it is really hard to do a fourth quart. I would have to drink it at 9:00 or 10:00.

Weight
Starting 173.5
I didn't weigh myself today. Oops.

Sleep
7 1/2 hours

Exercise
None

Physically
I woke up feeling pretty good. I didn't feel groggy. I woke up on my own. I had good energy which I needed for all the cleaning we did!

Positive changes
Skin is smooth
Stomach is getting flatter
Heartburn is almost gone

Detox
Coated tongue
Sore in my mouth
Few pimples
B.O. today again

Emotionally
It was a good emotional day today. I didn't tackle any of the mementos yet so I didn't get emotional. All the other stuff I cleaned I was glad to get rid of and clean out.

Cravings
None.

Trash Bag Tango
My hubby and I spent the entire day cleaning our room again. I mean really, isn't that ridiculous? Our room didn't look that bad but lurking in the corners, drawers and hidden places of the room were all kinds of garbage that needed to get tossed.

We moved my husband's old dresser into the closet and it is so nice. We each have 3 drawers and now we can just go in the closet and get dressed. It's like our own dressing room. I feel so posh.

As the day wore on into night I was almost finished and I realized I hadn't cleaned up under the bed. I knew I should do it but I was so tired I really didn't want to. As I vacuumed I kept going back and forth with myself and finally I just moved the bed and did it. So now the whole room is clean with the exception of the memorabilia that is waiting to be cleared. I will go through a little every day until it is done.

Meditation
None

Ramblings
I didn't do any of my morning routine this morning except for the lemon water. Isn't that terrible? I just really wanted to get cleaning so I jumped in full force. I am planning on taking a nice shower tonight and going to bed nice and clean in my nice and clean room. It does feel good.

Now I just have to paint and decorate. You see, I have a ridiculously big bedroom. When I first moved into this house I put my king sized bed in and everyone that came to see the house said, "Now you just need to get a king sized bed." I would try to explain that the bed was a king and that the room just made it look small. No one could believe it. It is one of the few things about my house that I would change. It is such a waste of space.

Shortly after we moved in my husband lost his job and since then we have been living on a lot less money than we were accustomed to. Decorating the house has always taken a back seat to the kids' things so after 5 years we still have an unpainted bedroom with hardly any furniture in it. I am not complaining because it is a choice I have made and now I want to start trying to get it looking good. A little at a time will have to do.

I have been thinking a lot about Ann Wigmore and her teachings. I actually just completed a home study course of her work. One of the things she talked about was that fruit was good to eat in the morning because fruit is cleansing and helps you break your fast from the night before.

I am naturally drawn to sweeter things in the morning so it has been hard to try to have a green drink in the morning that isn't sweet and I have been enjoying my citrus in the morning with a bit of guilt. So I have decided to release the guilt and enjoy the oranges knowing that I am aiding in the cleansing of my body from the night before. Done.

I have some people reading the blog who are not too familiar with juice feasting and have asked what my morning routine is so I thought I would post it here.

Morning Routine
1 quart water with 1/2 lemon squeezed in
Five Tibetans
Enema
Skin Brushing
Hot/Cool shower
Moisturize with coconut oil
Floss and brush teeth, scrape tongue
Make-up, get dressed, dry hair
Bentonite and psyllium shake
Wait 1 hour to drink my first juice

This usually takes me about 1 to 1 1/2 hours.

Nighty night and sweet dreams.

Day 13

Photo by Tuija on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
Bentonite and psyllium shake

1 quart orange, celery, romaine

3 oranges, 2 stalks celery, 1 1/2 heads romaine

Nice breakfast.

1 quart Bok Choy, celery, cucumber, blueberries

1 head bok choy, 6 stalks celery, 1 cucumber, 1 pint blueberries
OK, so I figured out what is causing my juice to separate. Finally. It is the...drumroll please...bok choy. This juice separated so fast and it got so disgusting that I couldn't even drink it. I am not sure you can see it that good in the picture but it was a clear liquid on the bottom and chunks of green on the top. Yuck. What a waste.

1 quart Romaine, Cucumber, Red Pepper, green onion, garlic, basil, hemp oil, kelp
1 1/2 heads romaine, 1 cucumber, 1/4 red pepper, 1 green onion, 1 clove garlic, handful basil
Yum. I struggle with adding more garlic because I love garlic but it becomes spicy because it's raw. I have gone as high as 2 cloves and it was a bit much. 1 1/2 is better.

1 quart Romaine, pineapple, celery, mint
1 large head romaine, 1/2 pineapple, 5 stalks celery, handful mint
Nice and light. I enjoyed it.

You can see that I had a lot of romaine today. I didn't intend for it and I didn't even realize it until I was looking over my notes. Also, I didn't have a full 4 quarts today but I was looking on the sheet to record what you eat each day and it says 3-4 quarts of juice so I had 3.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 163.5

Woo hoo! 10 lbs down.

Sleep
8 1/2 hours

Exercise

Five Tibetans
Full Day of cleaning house

Physically

I woke up feeling hung over today. I don't really understand it. I felt just awful. I was groggy, fuzzy and I had a headache. I could barely do the Five Tibetans I was so physically weak. I did my usual morning routine and felt a bit better and as time went by I felt better and better.

Positive changes

My tummy is looking smaller
My skin is sooo soft, it's luscious
I think I see my cheekbones trying to peak out from under the fat
My heartburn is so much better. It is almost gone!

Detox

Coated tongue (it looked a little lighter for a brief time today)
Had a bit of B.O today :o(
Pimples on my face which I almost never get

Emotionally/Trash Bag Tango
I had quite an emotional day today. I asked my husband to watch the Oprah show with me about the cleaning and this morning he agreed to help me clean out our master bathroom closet. I have a huge closet and it is chock-a-block with stuff. I mean tons and tons of stuff. It was quite a big project and I was doing good until we got to the back and I started pulling out my scrapbooking, memorabilia, and photographs. I have so much of it. Boxes and boxes.

I started thinking about some of the things Peter Walsh was saying on his show; "What do you want your house to feel like? Does this stuff accomplish that?" The answer was "no" but I am obviously so attached to all of it that I can't let it go. It is like a tug-of-war that was being raged inside of me and I lost it. I just started sobbing.

My hubby soothed me and reminded me that this is a process, one that can't be fixed overnight. We decided to push all of those boxes over into the corner of the room and I will go through them and weed them out tomorrow. I save too much stuff so I am going to go back and only save a few things that are truly special. I am also planning on getting some new containers to hold all the things I keep so that I am honoring them more and not just throwing them in an old beer box in and piling them in the back of my closet.

The closet is on its way. My mom helped a bit when she came over and we didn't even go out. We just cleaned. We did it all day and there is more to do tomorrow but it feels good and I know it is what we need to do.

Cravings
Does a craving from an organizer and a team to help count? No? Then no cravings.

Meditation

None. I am not even going to plan on meditating on the weekends. It is impossible in this house.

Ramblings
When I was doing my enema in the morning I was shocked and a bit disgusted at the smell of cigarettes that came into the room. I mean yuck. I used to smoke years ago. I haven't touched a cigarette in 13 years so how weird is that?

Also while doing my enema I noticed that my colon is higher up in my abdomen. It isn't where it is supposed to be but it has definitely moved up. I really can't explain it because I haven't had any huge release of matter from there but it has moved up so I will stop asking why and just be grateful. I still have my colonic scheduled for next week so I am really looking forward to getting a professional to give me some answers.

That's it for now. Think of me on Sunday cleaning, purging and probably crying. Exactly what I need!

Clear the Clutter

Today Oprah had Peter Walsh on the show talking about his new book Does this Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat. It was such an interesting topic that hit home for me. I have had a problem with clutter my whole life and I know it is a symptom of my inner feelings.

Once I opened up a cabinet door in my kitchen to reveal a cabinet that was STUFFED with stuff. It was piled up all over the place and barely being contained by the door. I whipped that cabinet open and said to my mom, "This is how my mind feels!" That was the best way I could explain my issue with disorganization to my mother who couldn't understand it.

Recently I have been making small steps to clear out the house and organize things. I have done most of my kitchen, my front hall closet and my upstairs bathroom. The lower level of the house is pretty good although there is a bit of clutter in my blue room right now. I have been able to keep it up too which is the important part. Usually I will get fed up, clean out and then slowly but surely things begin to creep in and take over again.

The upstairs of my home is a completely different story because it is a mess (except for my bathroom). Every time I walk up there I get so deflated. My basement is also equally cluttered. It is another place I can't stand to be.

The thing that hit me was when Peter said to her, "What do you want your home to feel like, to be? Does this stuff accomplish that?" The answer is a blaring no for anyone who is buried in clutter.

This new book shows the corelation between extra weight in your home and extra weight on your body. He is saying that you can't lose weight on your body if you are weighed down by extra weight in your home.

I see the corelation however I believe that instead of the problem being one or the other I like to look at it like an interconnected relationship. Any efforts made in one area are felt in the other areas. In fact he even said, "The house, the head, the heart, the hips. They are all connected." I believe that to be true and I believe that the best approach is to work on the whole package.

As I have been cleaning up my body, I have been drawn to clean up my home. It has been natural and I know I can do more to speed the process along. I am going to commit to spending 10 minutes each day clearing out a section of my home. I am going to do the Trash Bag Tango every day from here on out and see what kind of dent it creates in my cluttered home.