Clear the Clutter

Today Oprah had Peter Walsh on the show talking about his new book Does this Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat. It was such an interesting topic that hit home for me. I have had a problem with clutter my whole life and I know it is a symptom of my inner feelings.

Once I opened up a cabinet door in my kitchen to reveal a cabinet that was STUFFED with stuff. It was piled up all over the place and barely being contained by the door. I whipped that cabinet open and said to my mom, "This is how my mind feels!" That was the best way I could explain my issue with disorganization to my mother who couldn't understand it.

Recently I have been making small steps to clear out the house and organize things. I have done most of my kitchen, my front hall closet and my upstairs bathroom. The lower level of the house is pretty good although there is a bit of clutter in my blue room right now. I have been able to keep it up too which is the important part. Usually I will get fed up, clean out and then slowly but surely things begin to creep in and take over again.

The upstairs of my home is a completely different story because it is a mess (except for my bathroom). Every time I walk up there I get so deflated. My basement is also equally cluttered. It is another place I can't stand to be.

The thing that hit me was when Peter said to her, "What do you want your home to feel like, to be? Does this stuff accomplish that?" The answer is a blaring no for anyone who is buried in clutter.

This new book shows the corelation between extra weight in your home and extra weight on your body. He is saying that you can't lose weight on your body if you are weighed down by extra weight in your home.

I see the corelation however I believe that instead of the problem being one or the other I like to look at it like an interconnected relationship. Any efforts made in one area are felt in the other areas. In fact he even said, "The house, the head, the heart, the hips. They are all connected." I believe that to be true and I believe that the best approach is to work on the whole package.

As I have been cleaning up my body, I have been drawn to clean up my home. It has been natural and I know I can do more to speed the process along. I am going to commit to spending 10 minutes each day clearing out a section of my home. I am going to do the Trash Bag Tango every day from here on out and see what kind of dent it creates in my cluttered home.

Day 10

Photo by Move the Clouds on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption

Quart of Water with lemon

Bentonite and psyllium

Quart Swiss chard, bok choy, pear, lemon, cucumber, celery
1/2 bunch swiss chard, 2 stalks bok choy, 1 pear, 1/2 lemon, 1 cucumber, 4 stalks celery
Tasted nice.

Quart of water

Quart celery, orange, spinach
3 stalks celery, 4 oranges, 1/2 lb spinach
Yum!

Quart of water

Quart celery, spinach, apple, lemon, cucumber
5 stalks celery, 1/2 lb spinach, 1 apple, 1/2 lemon, 1 cucumber
Tasted good.

Quart of water

Quart of celery, lemon, romaine, cucumber
7 stalks celery, 1/2 lemon, 1 1/2 bunches romaine, 1 cucumber
This was not my favorite. It was a little too bitter. I could have gone with 1 bunch of romaine and it probably would have been better.

I have decided that I am going to have 1 juice a day that doesn't have any fruit in it. Then after a bit I will make it 2 and so on. I have to cut down on my sugar content and I think this will be a good way to make the necessary changes. I will get used to it.


Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 164.5

Sleep
7.5 hours

Exercise
Five Tibetans
1 hour of house cleaning, complete with window washing!

Physically
As you can see, I managed to consume all 4 quarts of juice again today. I was a little bloated throughout the day but not really that bad. I had the same underlying heartburn that is pretty slight. I am seriously wondering if it is the spirulina and/or chlorella that is upsetting my stomach. I was going to take it and then realized that I was feeling good and didn't want to jinx it so I skipped it and made it through the day great.

I had a lot more energy today and I used it to clean up the house. It felt good to get my body moving and to have a nice, clean area in my house.

Detox
Clear fluid filled bump on the bottom of my lip on the inside. It popped by the end of the day but I could still feel a small area that was raised.
Coated tongue
Underlying heartburn
Hands are dry

Positive changes
Smooth skin
I stopped using deodorant
My ears are a lot cleaner

Emotionally
I felt a lot more upbeat today. It is amazing how much the digestive system is linked to not only our physical well being but also our emotional. It is hard to feel upbeat when you aren't digesting food properly. When I think back over my life and how I felt I know a lot of it was tied to my digestion. It is amazing to me.

Cravings
None again. So weird.

Ramblings
So I feel like I am back in action. I am so glad about that.

We had a big snowstorm today and the kids were actually taken out of school half way through the day so they would be home before it hit. My 14 year old went out to snow board with his friends on the hill behind our house and he came back with a nice cut on his head. I took him to the emergency room where he got some staples to close it up.

He is such a cool kid. He came in like it was no big deal. He says, "mom, come here, I'm bleeding and it's a lot." He wasn't upset at all or freaked out and there was blood running all down his head and neck. After I looked at it and decided we needed to go to the ER he was so upset because he wanted to go back and land the trick he was trying to do! Once we got in to see the doc he barely flinched while they stapled him up. He did hold his mom's hand while they did it just to make me feel better. :o)

I have been making my juices as needed throughout the day. I started out making them all in the morning and decided that since I am home most of the time I might as well make them as I go. There are times that I will make up more than one juice. When I am going to be away from the house for a sporting event, party etc. I make sure to bring them with me.

There are positives and negatives to doing it this way. The positive is that it doesn't take me 1 1/2 hours to make my juice in the morning which can get tedious, the juice tastes so much better, I can make what I feel like drinking at that time - I am not stuck drinking something I don't really want, the juice has more nutrients in it, and the color is more vibrant and makes me happy.

The downside is that if something comes up like my son having to go to the ER, you have to stop and make a juice to bring with you, you have a bit more work because you are taking out the food and cleaning up more times. For me the positives far outweigh the negatives so I will keep doing it this way.

You should have seen the looks I got when I pulled out my big mason jar filled with vibrant green juice. It was so funny to watch people watching me while trying to be inconspicuous. Makes me smile.

Because of the snowstorm my colonic appointment was cancelled. I was so disappointed because I was really looking forward to getting some answers and some help and I couldn't get in for another week. So I will wait and fortunately it won't feel like such a long wait because I am feeling better! Yippee!

You may have noticed that I am posting at a different time. I have decided to post each morning about the previous day because it is easier for me with my family. I was feeling like I was spending too much time in here typing away and besides, by the end of the day I have had enough of the computer. So I think this will work really good for me during the week. We will see how the weekends go.

Day 9

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
1. 1 quart water with lemon

2. Bentonite and psyllium shake

3. Orange, grapefruit, spinach, chlorella, spirulina
4 oranges, 1/4 grapefruit, 1/2 lb spinach
This is quite tasty. I decided to add the grapefruit in a small amount because I don't like grapefruit. I used to really dislike celery and now I don't even taste it so I thought the same might be true of grapefruit. Taking it slow.

4. 1 quart water

5. Romaine, carrot, tomato, basil, garlic, celery, kelp, hemp oil
2 heads romaine, 4 oz. carrots, 4 oz tomato, handful basic, 1 clove garlic, 7 stalks of celery.
I love the way this tastes. It is so good.

6. Several quarts of water


Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 165.5

Sleep
7 hours

Exercise
Sun salutations
Five Tibetans
15 min. on rebounder

I am pretty proud of myself for all this exercise. It is really good for me who has been pretty sedentary since high school

Physically
Well, I had another rough day. Seems the stomach is just not cooperating with me. After my first juice I felt bloated and kind of yucky but not too bad. I couldn't eat anything until 2:00. Then I had the second juice and once again it sat in my stomach forever. I didn't feel like I could eat anything until 8:00 and then it was too late so I didn't eat anything else.

I have my appointment for my colonic scheduled for tomorrow so I am looking forward to getting some help with this challenge. I have to get a grip on it or I don't know what I will do. I am spending a great deal of time in bed because I feel so sick and tired. I drift off to sleep over and over again.

Now, I know this wasn't caused by the juice feast. I have had these kinds of problems before. They just don't last this long and because I am juicing I can't do my usual, eat a banana or some bread and help things along. I am sure if I stopped this fast and went back to eating SAD food my stomach would get better. Does that mean that is best for me? No! That is what got me here. It's just that there is this status quo that I am able to keep up when I eat like that. I have to break the pattern and that is exactly what I am doing with this feast.

I read this on Matt Monarch's Blog and I think it does a fantastic job explaining what I am talking about so I will post it here:

A drug addict, who snorts cocaine twice a day, becomes accustomed to his/her typical amount. If they cut back to once a day, withdrawal symptoms such as low energy, moodiness, and cravings for “a fix” will inevitably follow. This is not because their blood sugar went down. Do you see the inaccurate justification for what is really a system going through detox? With the help of a reliable alternative health practitioner, listen to your body and let it run its course for your healing.

I was reading on the Juice Feasting website about the liver and gallbladder. I can see that I have many, many of the symptoms of a weak liver and I know I have tons of gallstones. They wanted to take my gallbladder out and I refused.

You are supposed to begin the breakstone tea on day 30 to begin to break up and clear out gallstones. I wonder if I can begin early or do something to help the liver or if I just need to wait it out. I will see what the colon hydrotherapist has to say.

Detox
Coated tongue
Fatigue
Mucus after drinking lemon water and some juices
Underlying heartburn, bloating, indigestion

Emotional Symptoms
I think the above picture pretty much sums up the day. Just kind of blah. Nothing horrible, just blah. Since I have been spending so much time up in my bed and I can't seem to concentrate enough to read anything I have been watching a lot of TV. I think it makes it very easy to run away from any emotional problems that may be lurking around. I have a history with using the TV to soothe myself. Lately I haven't been watching it at all, not even Oprah which is the one thing I watch everyday. I know this is an escape but I guess when I am feeling so poor physically, I just need an emotional break.

Cravings
A craving to feel good. Does that count?

Ramblings
My husband used to have this habit of coming up to me and smelling behind my ear. He loved the scent I had and always said it was my pheromones. Well guess what, the smell is gone. He has been searching for it for days and all he can smell is celery! He hates celery! I told him he better start eating it so he gets used to it like I did and he can stand the way I smell :o)

I took my first bentonite and psyllium shake today. I was nervous that it was going to be horrible but it was no big deal. The taste wasn't great but it didn' t make me gag or anything. Hopefully this will speed my recovery along.

I love my rebounder. It is so great. I jumped on it while I watched this show on Veria about raw cooking. The show is called The Sweet Truth and the woman made 3 different desserts. They were pretty nut heavy but they had stevia and agave in them. It was weird though, at one point she was making these Blueberry Mousse Tortes that had 4 cups of cashews and she said she wanted to add something to increase the protein in the dish(?). She added whey protein powder! Is that even raw? or vegan? I am not sure because I have never used it.

Still, raw cooking on TV is great. I just got this new channel and I am excited to check it out. They have all kinds of interesting shows including yoga, aromatherapy, feng shui and more. Now that's good TV.

Photo by SkeletonKrew on Flickr

Second Chance

I created another inspirational movie to watch. They make me so happy. This is a beautiful song that sums up how I feel about this period in my life. I hope you enjoy it.

Day 8

Photo by BackatmyRanch/Lisa on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption

1. 1 quart water with lemon

2. Bok choy, swiss chard, apple, celery, mint, cucumber
1/2 large head bok choy, 2 large leaves swiss chard, 1 apple, 5 stalks celery, handful mint, 1/2 cucumber.
I was a little burnt out on the lemon from last night so I kept it simple this morning and this was very clean and enjoyable.

3. 1 quart water

4. Red Swiss chard, cucumber, blackberries, celery
1/2 bunch red Swiss chard, 1/2 cucumber, 6 oz blackberries, 5 stalks celery.
This was so much better without the lemon. Simple and good and I love the color.

5. 1 quart water

6. Spinach, apple, mint, cucumber, celery, cucumber
1/2 lb spinach, 1 apple, handful mint, 1/2 cucumber, 5 stalks celery.
Very clean and simple. That seems to be the juice theme for the day today.

7. 1 quart water

As you can see, I didn't get in the full 4 quarts today. My stomach just wouldn't cooperate.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 166.5

I went up a 1/2 pound. No biggie.

Sleep
6 3/4 hours

I know I see on other people's blogs that they are going on this amount of sleep and feeling great. I am not there yet. This is not enough sleep for me. The superbowl messed me up a bit.

Exercise
Five Tibetans
I know I said I was going to do the rebounder today but I didn't feel very good today so I didn't do it.

Physically
I woke up feeling rather blah today. I did my normal routine hoping it would get things moving but no luck. Later on in the day after my second juice it seemed that my stomach just wasn't working. The juice was stuck in there and making all kinds of noises. It didn't feel good and I went to bed. I kept drifting in and out of sleep. I was so tired.

Detox
Coated tongue
Underlying heartburn

Positive changes
I love my skin.

Emotionally
Feeling kind of blah today. Not bad but not good. I had a bout with poor me tonight while I was up in bed and my family was downstairs eating tacos. The smell wafted upstairs and I could hear them all laughing and having fun.

I was quick to snap out of it because this is exactly the kind of scenario I am trying to stop. So many times I have felt sick and end up separating myself from my family. I have missed so much with them. This juice feast is the beginning of the end of this pattern for me.

Cravings
I wanted tacos.

Ramblings
I don't really have much to say tonight. I just want to go to sleep. I know this doesn't make for a very interesting blog post. Sorry. I will feel better tomorrow.

Day 7

Beginning picture vs. end of week 1 picture

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption

1. 1 quart water with lemon

2. Orange, Spinach, Romaine

4 oranges, 1/2 lb spinach, 1/2 head romaine

Very nice. It was great to have this in the morning. It was more like breakfast.

3. 1 quart water

4. Romaine, carrots, tomato, celery, garlic, green onion, basil, kelp, hemp oil, cayenne, spirulina, chlorella

1 head romaine, 4 oz. carrots, 4 oz. tomatoes, 5 stalks celery, 1 1/2 cloves garlic, 1 green onion, handful basil, sprinkle cayenne

The taste of this was really delightful. I enjoyed it when I tasted it so much. I ended up waiting to drink it for a while and the weirdest things happened to it. It separated. It was like these clumps of food were separating and floating around in the juice. If I shook it up it looked normal again and then would start to separate again. I even strained it again and took more solids out of it and then it separated more. I had to drink it quick to get it down.

5. 1 quart water

6. Red Swiss chard, blackberries, lemon, cucumber

1/2 bunch red Swiss chard, 6 oz blackberries, 1/2 lemon, 1/2 cucumber

This was a wonderful deep purple color and was so nice to have something that wasn't green. I could have done without the lemon.

7. 1 quart water

8. Spinach, lemon, apple, celery, ginger

1/2 lb. spinach, 1 lemon, 2 inches ginger, 1/2 apple, 5-6 stalks celery

Too much lemon this time. The lemons I got this time are huge and this had a ton of lemon in it. I had an upset stomach and couldn't finish this. I only drank half of it.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 166

See, I told you it was coming.

Sleep
8 1/2 hours

Exercise
Five Tibetans
5 minutes on my new rebounder! Yipee. It is fun. I would have liked to do more but I just didn't have the time. Tomorrow I will though.

Physically
I had a lot of energy today. Felt good and ready to go. I am not sure if it was the separating drink I had or what but my stomach got upset around 6:00-7:00 in the evening. It felt like my stomach just wasn't digesting and the juice was sitting in there. Such loud rumblings my husband could hear them across the room. I am glad it started after I left the superbowl party.

Detox
Coated tongue
Underlying heartburn (it's getting better)

Positive changes
My skin is luscious. I mean it. I want to rub it all day long. Between the skin brushing, the coconut oil and the juicing, I am one smooth mother (literally).

When I look at myself in the mirror I think I look so much prettier. I guess this could go under the emotional category just as easily.

Emotionally
Wow, I woke up feeling on top of the world today! So much gratitude and joy and love. I felt so fantastic.

When I would come back home after my Journey events I would feel this aliveness that I never felt before. I was so calm with my children, in love with them and patient. The same for my husband. My love was so strong I could hardly contain it.

It always seemed that over time that good feeling would leave me slowly but surely. I could never quite attain that elated feeling I had. Well, that fabulous feeling I remember is back! It is exactly how I felt this morning. I was bouncy and smiling and joyous. Wow, the power of juice!

Cravings
It was a little harder to stay away from food today simply because I attended a superbowl party that had a ton of good food spread out and people were eating non-stop and raving about how good everything was. I sipped away at my juice and eventually went in the other room.

What I am doing is so much more important to me than eating at a superbowl party!

Week Overview

So one week has passed since I began my juice feasting journey. It has been quite a week.

I have released 7 pounds this week. And while I know this isn't about the weight loss for me, it does feel good to know that I am ready to release the weight that has so lovingly kept me protected for all these years.

Thank you, I no longer need you to protect me. I am safe!

I have had some physical ups and downs and I am so grateful that the ups are here AND I am ready for anything that comes. Physically I feel so much more alive. I have more energy and did I tell you how much I love my skin? Oh yeah, I did. Well let me tell you again. I LOVE MY SKIN!

The biggest changes for me have been emotional. I feel like I am back in touch with my feelings like I was when I was in the depths of my Journey work. It feels so good to acknowledge how I feel without judgment. It is so freeing to know that this elation that I felt when doing The Journey can actually be mine any time.

The biggest of the emotional changes has been in the way I feel about myself. I have been on this path of learning to love myself for some time. It has been a slow journey but still a journey. Well this past week feels like I was teleported forward to a place where I do love and appreciate my body.

When I first started this work I tried to do one of the exercises in Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life . It was the one where you are supposed to go to the mirror, look into your eyes and say, "I love and accept you exactly as you are." I couldn't do it. I couldn't even say the words. After doing a very powerful Journey process I was able to say the words to myself and now I find I am giving myself loving pep talks in the mirror everyday. What a change.

So that is it. I finish up week 1 feeling extremely grateful for the opportunity to make these changes and looking forward to another week filled with whatever may come.

Day 6

Photo by Fi20100 on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
1. 1 quart Water with lemon

2. Bok Choy, Spinach, celery, lemon, apple, ginger, cucumber
5 large bok choy stalks, 1 handful spinach, 4 stalks celery, 1/2 lemon, 1 apple, 1 big knob of ginger, 1/2 cucumber
Just as nice as all the other times I made this juice :o)

3. 1 quart of water

4. Romaine, celery, tomato, carrot, lemon, cucumber, garlic, kelp, hemp oil
1/2 large head romaine, 5 stalks celery, handful grape tomatoes, 4 oz carrots, 1/2 lemon, 1/2 cucumber, 1 clove garlic
Yummy. Once again something that reminded me of food. For some reason this tasted even better than the last one. I added the hemp and kelp and it didn't bother me at all. I really like it.

5. 1 quart water

6. Pineapple, ginger, spinach
1/2 pineapple, small bit of ginger, 1/2 lb spinach
I forgot that you aren't supposed to mix pineapple juice with green juice because the pineapple begins to digest it. When I got around to drinking it about 2 hours later it had turned kind of brown and didn't taste as good as I would have like but I finished it anyway.

7. 1 quart water

8. Romaine, spinach, lemon, pear, ginger
1/2 large head romaine, 1/2 lb spinach, 1 pear, 1 inch ginger
Very nice and simple. I enjoyed it while our guests were eating pizza, drinking beer and wine and I didn't even care!

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 168

I am still busy rebuilding. Weight release coming soon!

Sleep
8 1/2 hours

Exercise
Five Tibetans

Physically
I felt pretty good all day. Right around the middle of the day I became really, really tired and I took a short nap on the couch. I don't know how long it was but since the room was filled with all of my kids running around and playing I don't think it was that long. (My husband was there watching them)

Detox
My skin is a bit dry. I began to put coconut oil on to help. Lips still chapped.
Coated tongue
Underlying heartburn

Positive changes
My skin is sooooo soft! I love it! My hubby likes it too! I have had these pimple like bumps on the backs of my upper arms for years. They are beginning to go away which is fabulouso.

I still think my eyes are sparkly.

Emotionally
I spent a bit longer than normal in the bathroom this morning. I spent some time doing mirror work, you know: "You are doing such a good job Michelle. I am so proud of you. I just know you are going to be so healthy and I know you are going to succeed. You are exactly where you need to be." I rubbed some coconut oil on my body after getting out of the shower and thanked each part of my body for all it has done for me even when I wasn't appreciative of it.

I started crying. It wasn't a sad cry or a happy cry for that matter. It was just a release. No big deal. I let it come and I let it go. Then I started laughing. That felt good. I guess if there was a fly on the wall it would think I was a bit crazy and in need of a trip to the looney bin. That's OK, it felt good.

When I finished up and went and sat on my bed for a minute I realized that I was buzzing. I don't know how to explain it. It was a really wonderful feeling. My skin was buzzing and I could feel energy running through me. It was such a nice feeling and I sat there and enjoyed it for a few minutes.

When I went downstairs to make my juice I was feeling on top of the world and immediately got into a fight with my husband. It was a small little tiff that escalated. I walked away and went back up to my room.

Normally I would sit there and think, "What a jerk, blah blah blah." The same old blame game. This time I sat down and began repeating, "I release the need for conflict" and "I release the need for control." Once that passed I ran the problem through the 4 questions from Bryon Katie's Work. From this place I could better see MY part in the problem and I was able to calm and center myself.

When my husband came up to talk to me I was able to stay calm and focus on what I wanted for this exchange. I started with apologizing for my part in the argument. From there he was able to open up and we had a great exchange that ended with a lot of I love you's and hugs. What a great way for things to end.

The rest of the day I was in this really calm place. I felt so relaxed and good. We went to the store and I felt as if I was kind of gliding through the aisles. It was a really great place to be.

Later that night as I was reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and I read this passage:

The history of communism, originally inspired by noble ideals, clearly illustrates what happens when people attempt to change external reality- create a new earth- without any prior cange in their inner reality, their state of consciousness. They make plans without taking into account the blueprint for dysfunction that every human being carries within: the ego.

That really struck home with me after the day I had and showed me how so many times in my life I had focused on the outer world, my house, my husband, my kids and tried to make changes and for the first time I am focusing on my inner world and making the changes within ME. This time is for real people!

Cravings
None again! Love it!

Ramblings
No time for ramblings on the weekend (ha ha, you read the emotional part right? Some rambling there. :o)