Day 21

Photo by Dalboz17 on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, orange, celery

1 quart celery, kale, spinach, cucumber, pear, mint

Tasted awful. Seems I have become a bit of a juice snob. I am so used to making my juice right before I drink it. This time I had to make it ahead and it was so bitter. I tried to add an extra pear to it but it was rough to drink.

8 oz Orange Strawberry

2 oranges, 4 oz strawberry

This was like a little slice of heaven. Oh my gosh I loved it!

1 quart romaine, tomato, celery, onion, garlic, cilantro, hemp oil, kelp, turmeric, cayenne

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today No scale on vacation

Sleep
8 hours

Exercise
Rebounder 5 minutes (I jumped while my kids were eating their breakfast)

Walking 80 minutes (our room was super duper far from the water parks so we had quite a long walk. I had to go back and forth many times to get my juicing in)

Physically
Felt fine and was surprised at how fast I walked and how I felt good. I was a bit tired by the end of the day and could hardly keep my eyes open.

Positive changes
Skin on body is nice

Pants getting loose

Detox
Tongue is coated and I now have sores on it. Looks a bit like geographic tongue I had during some of my pregnancies.

Face still looking ruddy with some pimples and a bit of a rash on forehead along hairline

Dry hands

Emotionally

Today was quite the emotional day for me. It occurred to me that a huge part of vacations for me is the food. When I go on a vacation it is my excuse to eat whatever I want and I enjoy going out to eat. Being on a juice feast takes that all away so I was feeling pretty bad. I was crabby when I had to leave the family to go make my juice and then I was wallowing in self pity when my family all went out for pizza without me. It was my decision because I couldn't bear the thought of watching them all eat but I still managed to feel sorry for myself.

Cravings
Um, where to I begin? Everything I saw I wanted. French fries, pizza, sandwiches, pretzels, dried fruit, carrots, tomatoes, bagels... the list goes on and on.

Trash Bag Tango
None

Meditation
None

Ramblings

It was a hectic day that began first thing in the morning. I got up early to prepare all my juices and then I had to pack up. We wanted to leave by 8:00am so I had to hurry. We left about 20 minutes late but that was OK.

It was raining really hard and there was this thick fog like pea soup. It was slow driving but we managed. When we were about 30 minutes away from our destination, it started snowing really hard. The visibility was down to nothing and the snow was coming down faster than they could get it shoveled off. We slowed down and it ended up taking us an hour to travel that last 30 minutes. We didn't care, we were just so glad to get there.

We got settled in and the kids couldn't wait to go swimming. I was in a bit of a mood that I was trying to snap out of. I managed to cheer up after getting some juice in me.

We ended up knowing some people there. They just happened to be vacationing at the same time as us. I was a bit freaked out at first because I HATE for people to see me in my swimsuit. I especially hate it if it is a male friend of my husband. I get this feeling like I don't make my husband proud and I should look better for him. I know this is completely my issue because he could care less. We even talked about it.

I was glad for the opportunity to deal with it from an open place. I have to say that I was still a bit uncomfortable but I was very proud of myself. Normally I would have refused to take my cover-up off so I would also refuse to go in the water or have any fun. I decided to hell with it, I will just do it. I went down the water slide with my hubby and 2 little guys and it was fun. We also hung out in the hot tub and the hubby and I had a nice chat.

Day 20

Photo by Coda on Flickr

I am going to be writing about the next 4 days to the best of my ability. I was out of town without access to my computer not to mention spending hours in the water park. I will do my best. :o)

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, celery, orange

1 quart Romaine, carrot, garlic, cucumber, celery, cilantro, turmeric, cayenne, hemp oil, kelp

1 quart romaine, celery, garlic, tomato, dill, cucumber, broccoli, kelp
This is a new taste for me. I never really liked dill before but I went to The Borrowed Earth Cafe and had a salad that had dill in it and I really enjoyed it so I thought I would try it in my juice. It was OK. I think I will keep putting it in there to see if I begin to enjoy it even more.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today Didn't weigh in

Sleep
9.5 hours

I am still sleeping a lot. I get really tired at night and still want to sleep in. I am not going to worry about it. It is my understanding that the body heals during sleep so I am going to sleep as much as my body wants for now.

Exercise
Yoga Stretches
Packing for vacation and cleaning the house

Physically
Because I am writing this up from several days ago I can't really remember how I felt. I can only go by the notes in my journal. The morning says I was tired but OK. I had a sick stomach at some point and had a teeny tiny bowel movement; my first in ages.

Positive changes
filled bump is gone
Skin on body is nice
Pants are getting looser

Detox
Coated tongue
Skin on hands is sooo dry
My glow is gone and my face looks ruddy

Emotionally
Nothing much to report. I was kept busy with preparing to leave so it didn't leave much time for anything else. It is a lot to get 7 people out of a house on time and not forget anything.

Cravings
None

Trash Bag Tango
None

Meditation
None

Ramblings
I don't usually remember my dreams and if I do it is usually some kind of nightmare. I know, not good. Well last night I dreamt that I was in Venice, Italy. About 3 years ago I went to Venice with some of my artist friends for a 2 week Master in Mosaic course (I was a mosaic artist at the time). This was a place I wanted to visit since I was a small girl so I was very excited about it.

This was also the beginning of my ill health. It was about 1 month before my departure that I found myself in the hospital, thus beginning my quest for health and ending my quest for art.

Anyway, in my dream I was there with my husband and I was so excited to show him all the places I had been. I took him on a vaporetto, to the Guglie Bridge, and to my favorite little wine shop where I got the greatest, most fantastic wine I have ever tasted (and I don't even care much for wine).

All of the sudden I am horrified to realize that I am in Venice and I am juice feasting!!! I can't partake in any of the food in Italy. Ha ha, maybe it was a nightmare ;o)

Day 19

Photo by Jef Safi on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, celery, orange
Same as always

1 quart romaine, red pepper, carrot, onion, celery, cucumber, garlic, turmeric, cayenne, hemp oil, kelp
2 heads romaine, 1/2 red pepper, 1 carrot, 1 green onion, 6 celery, 1 cucumber, 1 lg. clove garlic
Yum!

1 quart celery, kale, pear, cucumber, blackberry, blueberry
5 stalks celery, 5 leaves kale, 1 pear, 1 cucumber, 6 oz blackberries, 4 oz blueberries
OK, I think I am over berries and greens. The smell of it at the end made me a bit sick.

1 quart celery, kale, pear, lemon, cucumber, ginger
4 stalks celery, 4 leaves kale, 1 pear, 1/2 lemon, 1 cucumber, 1" knob ginger
Good. I am a little over ginger too.

I managed to get the full 4 quarts in today. I think the key during the week is to make sure I have one around 3:30 so I have time to get the 4th one in. If I wait until 4 or 5 then I would have to have the last one about 7 or 8 and by then I just don't want anything.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 162

Sleep
8 hours

Exercise
Yoga stretches

Physically
I woke up feeling groggy and my eyes had a really hard time opening. I felt better as the day went on. Usually by dinner time my stomach is just not feeling good. It is grumbly and feels yucky. I increased my enzyme from 2 pills to 3 hoping it would help but, not so much. I have been getting the worst gas! If I could just get my digestion going!

Positive changes
Canker sore is gone
Fluid filled bump seems to be gone
Skin on body is nice

Detox
Coated tongue
Skin on hands is sooo dry
My glow is gone and my face looks ruddy. Probably has something to do with my digestion.

Emotionally
Nothing in the emotions department today.

Cravings
I was craving pizza.

Trash Bag Tango
Kitchen drawer

Meditation
None - my kids had a half day of school again and I spent the morning at my son's reality store. It was fun.

Ramblings
I wanted to share Carrie's Valentines Dinner with you. I love it. Here I am just trying to get by with my green juice in my mason jars and she is whipping up a 9 course feast of juice in all kinds of beautiful glasses and bowls! How creative. See, juice feasting can be fun and creative!

I am leaving on early Sunday morning for a few days with my family. We are going to the Wisconsin Dells. We are staying at the Wilderness Water Park so the kids should have a ball. We have never been there which is unheard of in our part of the world. It is only 3 hours away so just about everyone I know has gone. I could never bring myself to spend that kind of money in Wisconsin. I mean, no offense to Wisconsin but if I am going to spend a lot of cash on a trip I want to go somewhere fabulous. We decided to go when my mom and grandma gave us a gift certificate for Christmas this year. Now I get to check it out without spending too much cash. I am so frugle.

I will be packing up a portable juicing kitchen along with all the necessary produce so I will be able to continue my feast. I will post more about it after I return. I am not sure how much posting I will be doing while I am gone. If I had to guess I would say it will be quite minimal but you never know.

Day 18

Photo by @rild (away for a while) on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, celery, orange

Same as always

1 quart romaine, red pepper, celery, onion, garlic, cucumber, hemp oil, kelp

2 heads romaine, 1/2 red pepper, 7 stalks of celery, 1 green onion, 2 cloves of garlic, 1 cucumber

Good

1 quart spinach, celery, pineapple, mint

1/2 lb spinach, 3 stalks celery, 1/2 pineapple, handful of mint

This juice was the best because my hubby made it for me for Valentine's Day! He said since he couldn't take me out to eat or buy me chocolates he would be my juice boy for the day. He's so sweet. He also got me some flowers.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 162

Sleep
9.5 hours

Exercise
Yoga stretches

Physically
I was pretty drained for most of the day. I just felt so tired and I didn't want to push it. I did a lot of crying the night before so I just took it easy.

I spent about an hour in bed with a castor oil pack on my stomach hoping to help my colon. What a great excuse to lie in bed and relax.

Positive changes
Skin is soft and smooth
Tummy is flatter

Detox
Coated tongue
Canker sore
Fluid filled bubble on lower lip still coming and going
Skin on palms and fingers dry

Emotionally
I had a good day emotionally. Nothing big happened; I just took it easy all day.

Cravings
None

Trash Bag Tango
None

Meditation
None

Ramblings

Valentines day was pretty uneventful for me. Being so tired, having 5 kids and a basketball practice doesn't leave too much fun for V-day. It isn't a big deal. We love each other everyday so we don't really need a day to express it. We did sit together and watch Survivor. It is the only show my husband likes to watch on TV. He wishes he could go on the show.

I watched Phillip's video that he posted on We Like it Raw. He had some great things to say about emotions and the winter season. Living in Chicago I tend to have a hard time with the winter months (which seem to go on forever). It's funny, besides being really cold, I haven't had the normal restlessness and unhappiness that I normally get this time of year. My dad called from Florida to tell me that he saw somewhere that my area had only 11 minutes of sunshine in a month. Can you imagine? It's not really bothering me. Maybe it's all the liquid sunshine I am drinking.

Since I did a castor oil pack today I thought I would share a bit of information about it. I did it because the hydrotherapist said that along with the B5, the castor oil pack would stimulate the peristalsis of my colon. When I had a chance and did a little research I found that castor oil packs have some other uses too.

Apparently castor oil has been used for a long time. There is evidence that it was used as far back as ancient Egypt. Edgar Cayce was the first to popularize the use of castor oil in the modern world. He used it for many different things.

According to EarthClinic.com castor oil packs are used for: cholecystitis (inflammation of the gall bladder), poor eliminations, epilepsy, various liver conditions such as cirrhosis and torpid liver, scleroderma, headaches, appendicitis, arthritis, incoordination between assminilations and eliminations, colitis, intestinal disorders such as stricture and colon impaction, incoordination between nervous systems, neuritis, and toxemia.

It is really easy to do. I went to a local health food store and purchased a bottle of castor oil for 2.99 and the flannel cloth for 3.99. I went home and saturated the cloth with the oil. The cloth should be folded so there are at least 2 layers and 3-4 is even better. I placed it on my stomach and covered it with a sheet of plastic wrap. Then I crawled into bed with my lava buns that had been heated in the microwave. That's it. I just rested there for about an hour.

When I was finished I took 2 teaspoons of baking soda and mixed it with some warm water and washed my abdomen to get the oil off. I folded up the flannel cloth and placed it into the zip top bag that it came in so it is ready for next time. Pretty simple.

Day 17

Photo by Bitzcelt on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
Bentonite and Psyllium Shake

1 quart orange, spinach, celery

5 oranges, 1/2 lb spinach, 3 stalks celery
Yum.

1 quart romaine, tomato, cucumber, celery, onion, cilantro, garlic

2 heads romaine, 4 oz tomato, 1/2 cucumber, 7 stalks celery, 1 green onion, 2 handfuls cilantro, 2 garlic cloves
Yum.

1/2 quart romaine, carrot, cucumber, celery, red pepper, onion, cilantro, garlic

2 heads romaine, 1 lg. carrot, 1 1/2 cucumber, 7 stalks celery, 1/2 red pepper, 1 green onion, 2 handfuls cilantro, 2 cloves garlic

Yum

You can see that I only had 2 1/2 quarts today. Not enough. Keep reading if you dare to find out why.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 163

Sleep
8 hours

Exercise
Yoga - sun salutations 10 minutes

Rebounder 5 minutes

I am just too fatigued to do the Five Tibetans. I did some slow gentle stretching in the morning instead.

Physically
I feel good even with the fatigue. It's not that I don't have the energy; it's just that my body isn't cooperating with me. I just feel drained.

Positive changes
Skin is soft and smooth

Tummy is flatter

I am beginning to get the glow

Sparkly eyes

Detox
Coated tongue

Canker sore

Fluid filled bubble on lower lip still coming and going

Skin on palms and fingers extraordinarily dry and feel like there is crazy glue on them

Emotionally
I had a good day emotionally up until about 5:00. I will explain down in the ramblings.

Cravings
I was craving food today. Nothing in particular, just food. I wanted that cozy, full feeling in my tummy all day. I wanted something warm and comforting to fill me up. I even tried to have a cup of tea. It didn't work.

I read something on Phillip's blog that I want to share with you. I think it is so direct, to the point and profound.

One of the most common comments I hear this time of year is:

Don’t you miss warm foods in the winter?

I need hot soup to keep me warm.

I could never be raw in the winter.

Umm…. since when has food had so many responsibilities?

We want food to comfort us when we are depressed.

We want food to be our friend when we are alone.

We want food to cheer us up when we are sad.

We want food to entertain us when we are bored.

We want food to party with us when we are happy.

We want food to warm us up when we are cold.

It’s all a lie!

Food only has one responsibility, to nourish and heal us. That’s it…. anything else is a bonus.

Yes… you can make it pleasing to the eye.

Yes… you can make it tasty for your palette.

Yes… you can put your love into creating it.

That’s all real, and all good.

Just don’t get it twisted. If you are replacing dealing with an emotion, with food… you are doing yourself a disservice.

Lets take responsibility and own what is really ours.

Let us be free to experience the emotion, let it flow and let it go, and be the overcomers that we were all born to be!

I can see the truth in those words and that is exactly where I want to be. I want to release my need for food to "fill me up," to soothe and comfort me. I see the connection and I truly believe that I have the ability to get there.

Trash Bag Tango
I went through my 5 and 7 year olds' shirts and got rid of a bunch that they don't wear anymore, are too small or look like they have been dragged behind a semi across the country.

Meditation
None again. Hmmm, I don't know why I haven't been fitting this is in.

Ramblings
So, I am warning you, what I am about to write is NOT a normal story that the majority of people will tell you. It is however MY story, so in an effort to be real and true I am sharing it with you. It is a bit uncomfortable but I am doing it anyway.

I had my first colonic today. I was very excited about the prospect of getting some help with my digestion issues and have been waiting a week to get over there.

For those of you who have never had a colonic, it is a machine that puts water into the colon and then removes it. It is very gentle and not really uncomfortable. Now, as you all know who have been taking this juice feasting journey with me, I have had some digestive issues. So I was prepared for anything physically to happen once we got started. Physically, I had a bit of nausea as the water was coming out. It felt a bit like when I have had diarrhea in the past. Just a little bit of a sick feeling. It wasn't horrible and I could definitely deal with it no problem.

I found out that I have little to no peristalsis in my colon. I had a feeling. She told me to take B5 to help increase it. It is also good for stress, bruxism, nervous conditions, alcoholism, joint pain, joint stiffness, adrenal support, allergies, constipation and fatigue. She also suggested digestive enzymes taken with meals because she could see that I am having trouble digesting my food. She also suggested a parasite cleanse. She asked me if I had animals in the house and said she suggests that anyone with animals in their house do a parasite cleanse once a year. Eeeeeww, I didn't ask any more about that. I know that the juice feasting protocol includes a parasite cleanse so I will just hold off on learning anymore about it.

What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional state I found myself in. I was lying in there and feeling increasingly emotional. When I felt like I couldn't hold it back anymore I let the woman know how I was feeling. She said that the gut holds onto a lot of emotion and that I should just let it come and not worry about it. In hindsight I wonder if she regrets that comment. :o)

Tears started rolling down my cheeks and I couldn't really stop it. After a bit of this I told her that it was really strange because I felt like a little kid lying there. She asked me what age and I told her I wasn't sure, maybe 5. She asked me if I felt safe. I said yes and then she asked if my 5 year old self felt safe and I knew the answer was no. At that, I began a full out crying spell. It felt like the floodgates were opened (hence today's choice of photographs).

She brought me over a teddy bear and had me talk to it as if it were my 5 year old self. She had me tell it that she was safe and other comforting things. It felt very strange doing all of this in front of a complete stranger but there was no way I was able to keep it all in. Pretty much I cried through about 30 minutes of it, probably more.

When we finished up I went into the bathroom and continued to cry. I got myself together and went back out into the room. She was there and asked how I felt. I told her I was weak and felt pretty bad. She came and gave me a hug and you would have thought she opened up the dam. I completely lost it and started sobbing like a little kid. She held me for a while and I tried to gather myself, I felt rather embarrassed by the whole thing. I laughed and said, "They don't tell you about this when they tell you about getting a colonic." Her reply was, "That's because this isn't something that normally happens." That made me cry even more. I felt like some kind of weirdo.

She was really good about it and said she thought I was there for more than just a colonic and offered to do an quick energy balance on me (Reiki). I said yes of course and we went into the massage room where I kept right on crying. As she began the energy work I could feel myself unwind a bit. I became more centered and calmed down enough to get out of there and drive myself home.

Once home I got right into bed (it was 7:30). My hubby came to snuggle with me and once I started telling him what happened I started crying again. I cried and cried lying there in his arms for what felt like forever. I really couldn't figure out why I was crying, it just felt like this huge release so I let it come. Once I calmed down again I was just so tired that I lied there and fell asleep.

Ever since I was a little girl I have known that when I got scared, nervous or upset I felt it in my stomach. Throughout much of my childhood I had a sick feeling in my stomach. I guess I learned to shut it down a long time ago and the process of releasing it physically also released it emotionally. While it was a bit rough to get through I know that this is part of my journey to vibrant health and I am so grateful for the opportunity to let go of all of it, whatever it is.

When I was leaving the hydrotherapist's office she suggested that I take more time for myself, that I do more self care. I laughed because since starting this juice feast I feel like I have been doing so much self care that I couldn't imagine doing more. She said she thought a nice warm bath would be good for me too. I told my hubby that I might just have to move into the bathroom soon.

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Day 16

Photo by Leah Makin Photography on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
1 quart spinach and orange
1/2 lb spinach and 4 oranges
Yum

1 quart spinach, beet, blackberries, blueberries, pear
1/2 lb spinach, 1 small beet with leaves, 6 oz blackberries, 4 oz blueberries, 1 pear
I loved the color of this juice and that is about it. It actually made me a bit sick to my stomach and I had to drink it in two separate sittings.

Romaine, cucumber, tomato, celery, onion, garlic, cilantro, hemp oil, kelp
1 head romaine, 1 cucumber, 2 handfuls grape tomatoes, 7 stalks celery, 1 green onion, 2 garlic cloves, 2 handfuls cilantro
Oooh was this good. I call it my salsa juice. Yum

As you can see I only got 3 quarts of juice in again. I was on schedule until the beet juice episode. Gives me shivers. I also didn't have the bentonite today. I just got busy and ran out of time.

Weight

Starting 173.5
Today 163.5

Sleep
6.5 hours

Exercise
Five Tibetans
I have been physically very weak and even doing these exercises has been tough.

Physically
I felt good today. As I mentioned above I have been physically weak. My legs especially get all rubbery when I do much of anything. I have a good amount of energy so I think it may just be some repairing going on. As I write this I wonder if it is because I am not getting in 4 quarts of juice. Hmmmm, could very well be. I will be more diligent about it and see if it makes a difference.

Positive changes
Skin is soft and smooth
Energy is good
Tummy is flatter
I am beginning to get the glow
Sparkly eyes

Detox
Coated tongue
Sore in my mouth is a canker sore
Fluid filled bubble on lower lip still coming and going
Skin on palms and fingers extraordinarily dry and feel like there is crazy glue on them

Emotionally
I felt really good for most of the day. Around dinner time I waited too long to get my juice and I got crabby! I mean crabby. The kids all wanted help with their homework and the hubby was wanting to get in the kitchen and I just wanted to make my juice. It took me a bit of time to come down from my heightened state but I did and it was all good.

I have been really good about keeping my adrenaline levels low. I realized a while back that I was addicted to that rush I get from having an adrenaline surge. It goes way back to my childhood when we ran a restaurant and we would get busy. I loved that. I loved when it was busy and I was running around in a flurry. I remember it feeling so good.

I think when I left the restaurant business I looked for ways at home to recreate that feeling. Unfortunately those ways were pretty negative like procrastinating and running late. I have a thing about being late so this is one area that I am consciously working on right now. When I catch myself feeling rushed I take a deep breath and say, "I release the need for drama." Works so good. I can feel myself unwind. It is so cool.

I haven't had that flustered state I talked about above in a while so it was good to notice and I will make more of an effort to alleviate that problem in the future. I may want to make 2 juices at lunch time so in case I get busy or have to run out I have one made and ready to go. See, problem solved. :o)

Cravings
Hmmm, I had a craving but I can't remember what it was. I guess it wasn't that important.

Trash Bag Tango
None today.

Meditation
None today.

Ramblings
I got a haircut and color today and I really like it. I went to a new woman. She works out of her home so it costs a great deal less money. I used to spend $130 plus tip. I paid...get ready for this...$40 plus tip. Can you believe it? And she did a good job. I like her just as much.

It is interesting that the changes in me have even found their way into my hair. Since I was a very little girl, probably 3, I have had bangs. Every hairstyle I have ever had has had bangs. Recently I started feeling like I was hiding behind my hair a bit and have wanted to grow them out. Every time I would go to the salon I would tell her that I thought I wanted to let them grow and by the end of the appointment I would have her cut them. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Finally a few months ago I bit the bullet and let them grow. Now they are pretty much officially off my face and I have gotten used to looking at myself this way. I just find it so interesting the ways we use to hide from the world, from ourselves for that matter. I know not everyone who has bangs is hiding; it's just that for me, this was one of the ways I did it. I also did it by looking in the mirror as little as possible and not taking pictures of myself.

Now I want to look at myself in the mirror all the time and I start talking to the person I see just about every time. Hee hee. Posting the pictures of myself on this blog is a big deal too. I would have NEVER done that before and still I struggle with it but I do it anyway! I do it to free myself of this self imposed box I have been in for too long. Who knew that hair could lead to such a realization?

I started a network for my family today too. I have family in Indiana, Southern Illinios, Florida, California and Australia. I thought it would be a fun way to post pictures and talk to each other. I had my oldest boys sign up right away and my mom did too. Hopefully everyone else will be as excited about it as I am. We'll see. If you want to start your own forum it is free and easy. Just go to Ning.com to get started.

One last thing. I am going to go back into my old posts and label them so I can organize them and make them easier to locate on the blog. This isn't really a big deal unless you are one of the people who have subscribed to my blog because you will be getting all of the posts sent to you. Please know that I will try to get it all done quickly so it isn't too much of an inconvience and I will now be much better about this in the future so I won't have to do this again. Thanks!