Day 73

Photo by Fauto Digit on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, orange, celery

1 shot flax, evening primrose oil

1 quart romaine, celery, tomato, carrot, garlic, onion, kelp, spirulina

1 quart romaine, celery, goji berry, mango, pineapple

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ??

Sleep
6.5 hours

Supplements
MSM
Probiotic
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice

Exercise
1 hour Pilate's class

Physically
I am a bit tired today. My stomach feels good and other than that I am good.

Emotionally
Pilate's class was rough for me today. I just couldn't do it. I kept having to stop and rest and I was feeling like a failure. I caught myself and kept trying to boost myself up with positive self talk and being gentle with myself but I just wasn't having it. I had to choke back the tears several times.

When I got home I decided that I was not going to stuff whatever it was that was coming up so I decided to do a brief belief change to clear it out. Midway through it was painfully evident that I was in need of more than just a belief change so I stopped the audio and had a full out process. I was a bit all over the place, doing this and doing that but the results were amazing.

I realized that it was more than just the fact that I felt like a loser and a failure. It was that I was afraid to LOOK like a loser and a failure. I had this fear of it. I addressed the fear with my old friend, "what's the worst that could happen..." and I found myself cycling. I would get to the point where I was feeling confident and then something would come up and I would be back down in fear and failure. It became quite evident that this was a blaring pattern in my life.

Whenever I am just about to succeed at something, I quit or I change gears or whatever. I never see it through. I had this fear of success but it was more than that. I had this deep, inner belief that I wasn't good enough and I didn't deserve success. My dad popped up during this revelation so I did some work to clear out my negative beliefs and I installed a new, positive belief, "I can succeed at anything!." I cut any negative ties to my dad surrounding this issue, had complete forgiveness of my dad, and I forgave myself for blaming him for holding me back.

Once all this was complete I was able to complete the process I started out with and as usual I was left with a sense of peace and appreciation. It always amazes me when I do these processes that the strength of emotion that comes up can be so strong and I can be left feeling as if I have been washed clean.

That isn't to say this will be the only process I have regarding this issue. It may come up for me again from a bit of a different perspective. The cool thing is that I was able to reveal a major negative pattern that has been keeping me stuck and keeping me sabotaging myself.

Cravings
None - I am not having cravings per se. I am just wanting to eat food. I am tiring of juice a bit. I was telling Lisa that I catch myself singing, "I hate green juice in the morning..." sometimes. I know, it's not good but what can I say, it's true. I am not going to stop with just 19 days left, in fact I still don't have prunes in the house. I almost bought them the other day but then I decided I would wait.

Ramblings
There is nothing else to ramble about tonight. I am just going to go to sleep. Sometimes those big emotional releases can be tiring. Goodnight everyone.

Day 72

Photo by Mundoo on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart orange, spinach, celery

1 shot flax, evening primrose oil

1 quart romaine, celery, pineapple, mango

1 quart leaf lettuce, celery, tomato, garlic, cilantro, kelp, turmeric

3/4 quart romaine, cucumber, cilantro, garlic, celery
I wanted to finish the whole thing but I put too much garlic in and I had to dump it.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ??

Sleep
7.5 hours

Supplements
MSM
Probiotic
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice

Exercise
5 minutes rebounder
10 min. walk

Physically
The day started off feeling pretty good. I had good energy, I felt good. About 4:00 or so I started to get pretty tired. I was drained and felt like I could go to sleep. I was also feeling bloated and had a bit of a headache. I had a completely normal BM today all on my own without any colon cleanse or enema. What an accomplishment. I feel like I am accepting some kind of poop award. I would like to thank the people who work at the sewage treatment plant for making this possible and sanitary.

Emotionally
I chose the above picture today because I felt like that boat resting on still waters. I just felt so calm and peaceful today. My darling little Aidan had a bit of a temper tantrum tonight and I kept my cool to a degree that I have never been able to do before. Normally I will keep my cool but underneath I am boiling. I didn't even realize how great it was until later when I thought about it. If you ask me that is when you know you have made a huge change, when you don't even realize it. That's awesome.

Cravings
None

Ramblings

Only 20 days left. I feel like I am beginning to do a countdown. I try to stay with the one day at a time philosophy that has served me so well over the last 72 days but I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep myself from counting how many days I have left. On one hand it is great because I know I am nearing the end and on the other hand it's not so hot because it's still 20 days. When I think about it, it is still a lot of days left! One day at a time, one day at a time, one day at a time. My new mantra.

Today I spent quite a bit of time making some dehydrated spicy seed mix for my hubby. He has been eating so much better these days and he bought some sunflower seeds in the shell to eat at his desk at work. He got called into his boss' office because someone complained about the noise of him eating them. :o) You just gotta love office life. I was pretty surprised as I usually am with all the BS that goes on in an office. I have never had a job like that since I grew up in an entrepreneurial family so I am not hip on office politics. My husband and I laugh because I would never survive. They should start an office survivor show like that commercial. Ha ha, I would get voted off so fast!

Anyway, I think it was a blessing really. The seeds he was eating were cooked and probably loaded with salt so now I have the opportunity to make something a bit healthier and quieter. hee hee. I used sun dried tomatoes and a bunch of Mexican spices and they are in the dehydrator. They smell divine. I just hope they taste good because I made 7 trays worth!!! I got a bit carried away.

I had some fun with my sharpie markers today while watching Juice Feasting videos. I was creating all kinds of fun little black and white mandalas. It is so easy and surprisingly meditative. I really enjoyed it and there was no expectations for something awesome to come from it so it was freeing. It was like doodling. I will have to keep up with this.

Day 71

Photo by Simple Dolphin on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, goji berry, orange, celery

1 quart coconut water, mango, romaine, pineapple

1 quart celery, leaf lettuce, lemon, cilantro, garlic, kelp

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ???

Sleep
7 hours

Supplements
MSM
Probiotic
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice

Exercise
1 hour yoga

Physically
This was a great day physically. I know I say it every time I go but I love yoga. It feels so good. I am still feeling good and have a good amount of energy.

Emotionally
Today was a happy day. I felt light and uplifted. I am feeling very in love with my honey and so grateful for him. I don't know if I mentioned this before but he has been cooking all the food in the house since I started this feast. He goes to work and then comes home and makes dinner. He is so wonderful and I love him so much.

I was also feeling so much love for my family today. I just wanted to eat my little guy up today. I couldn't get enough of him. My relationship with all of my kids has been light and carefree. It's wonderful.

Cravings
Hmmm, see below. :o)

Ramblings
I went to the Borrowed Earth Cafe for a raw meeting about greens. I wanted to see what they had to say and I wanted to meet some new people. I have been avoiding these because of the feast but I felt ready to go.

It was really nice. The owners are so sweet and I had a nice chat with them. The people that were there were all so nice and I had a good time. Now, I sat there while everyone was eating the most delicious raw food. Oh my goodness, it looked divine. It was much harder to do this than it was the Italian restaurant last night. I wasn't tortured or anything. In fact I was pretty excited to go there once I get off my feast. They are getting some outdoor tables so I can't wait for warm weather and a date night!

I was planning on getting my final juice once I got there because I saw juice on their online menu. When I got there they told me that they don't offer juice anymore. I was a bit bummed. I ordered an herbal tea and sipped that and some water. I didn't get home until 9:30 and that was too late for a juice so once again I didn't get enough. Not for lack of trying though.

Cody got his cast off today. I took him to a sports med doctor and she cleared him to begin practice this week and games next week. She said a normal doctor would have kept him from playing for another few weeks. He is very excited and I have to ramp up for hours of cold weather in the stands. Thank goodness for my lava buns to keep my tushy warm. :o)

Week 10 Review

Before
Week 10 with my little Aidan

Another week down for Michelle the friendly juice feaster. It has been quite a week. I learned some important things about myself this week.

As you all know, I had a bit of a rough week with the parasite cleanse and all. I was sick for 8 days straight. I suffered through feeling awful as I have so many times in the past. It wasn't until I spoke with David Rain and he said that if I was feeling sick I could stop the parasite cleanse did that thought ever enter my mind.

I realized that I am still not listening to my body enough. I am so used to being tough, pushing through and suffering that I don't notice when my body is saying "stop!" Here I think I am doing such a great thing and getting in touch with myself yet I still turn a deaf ear. It is important for me to recognize this about myself and to use it as an opportunity to learn. I could keep doing the same thing I have always done or I can choose to learn, expand and grow. I chose the later.

I also had the opportunity to spend the week without exercise. I did nothing last week and normally I would feel this underlying guilt like I wasn't doing what I should. I am happy to announce that not only did I listen to my body in this regard, I didn't feel guilty about it. I took it easy and I am back on track this week. Awesome.

We all know that I had a great success with my dinner last night. I am still riding the wave of that high. My father commented on what willpower I have and how he can't believe it. I laughed and said that if we came here the first month of my juice feast I would have run out of there crying. Now, it didn't have anything to do with willpower. I was over it. Yes!!!

I started working with David Rain this week and I have to say that it is incredible. I am so grateful that I did it (even though it was a bit of fight on the home front for the $$ :o). I have found myself realizing that I can't do everything alone. I have suffered for years and years with all of these issues and I always try to do it alone. You know, I am tough, I am smart, I can do it. Well, you know what? I can't do everything and it is OK to get help. It is OK to be vulnerable. This is HUGE for me!

I told my husband that it is like I was sitting on the ground with all of these puzzle pieces and I just couldn't figure it out. It is like David is up on a hill with a better viewpoint and he can look down and see the puzzle and put it all together. I only wish I would have done it sooner. Ha ha, I guess I wouldn't have learned my lesson now would I?

Once again it has been an honor to share this week with all of you wonderful juice feasters! Keep on juicing everyone!!!

People Who Don't Get It

The following is from the today's Daily Om

People Who Don’t Get It
Compassion for All

You may be someone who understands the true nature of reality, perceiving deeply that we all emanate from the same source, that we are all essentially one, and that we are here on Earth to love one another. To understand this is to be awakened to the true nature of the self, and this understanding is a blessing. Nevertheless, people who just do not get it are seemingly everywhere and, often, occupy positions of power. It can be frustrating and painful to watch them behave unconsciously.

We all encounter individuals such as this in our families, at work, and in all areas of public life. It is easy to find ourselves feeling intolerant of these people, wishing we could be free of them even though we know that separation from them is an illusion.

It helps sometimes to think of us all as different parts of one psyche. Within our own hearts and minds we have dark places that need healing, just as the heart and mind of the world have their dark places. The health of the whole organism depends upon the relative health of the individuals within it. We increase harmony when we hold on to the light, not allowing it to be clouded by judgment, anger, and fear about those who behave unconsciously. It is easier to accomplish this if we don’t focus on the negative qualities of individuals and instead on how increasing our own light will increase that of the overall picture.

When dealing with people who seem very unconscious, it helps to remember that everyone must find their own way to awakening, and that the experiences they are having are an essential part of their process. Holding them in the glow of our energy may be the best way to awaken theirs. At the same time, we are inspired by their example to look within and shed light on our own unconscious places, sacrificing the urge to judge and surrendering instead to humble self-inquiry.

I think this is something that those of us on a Juice Feast can relate to on many levels. One that comes up for many of us is being "different" from the mainstream in regards to our eating or juicing as it may be.

We can take this stance when dealing with the endless questions, judgements and comments made by people that we run into on a daily basis. I think the true healing comes from the way we treat our close family and friends that are not on the same path as us. Staying centered within ourselves and tending to our needs and letting them take their chosen paths can be difficult. Especially when we are watching people suffer by those choices. Sometimes we are confronted with people that are so fearful or jealous that they lash out and try to prove us wrong or even make fun of us.

How many of us have those same parts within us that pop out and show themselves. Many of us have made poor choices in our lives that have led us to our current health challenges. We may have operated from a place of fear, anger, or a lack of self worth. We may have lashed out at others but more importantly we may have lashed out at ourselves. We might have done things that hurt us physically and emotionally.

So now that we have embarked on this healing journey and we have seen how fantastic we can feel on so many levels we want to know why everyone isn't doing it. Sometimes we can find ourselves looking around and feeling pity for those that are stuck in their old, unhealthy ways. We can take a moment to remember that we could not be where we are today if we didn't go through what we did in the past. Just like we have, the people around us need to make the decisions that serve them in this lifetime. Simply by focusing on our journey and living our lives from a place of health and joy we can encourage anyone who is open and ready for the next stage. For those who aren't, we can offer love, compassion, and freedom from judgement.

Day 70

Photo by Country Girl at Heart on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart celery, spinach, orange

1 quart celery, leaf lettuce, tomato, cilantro, lemon, bean sprouts, garlic

1 quart celery, romaine, tomato, snap peas, bean sprouts, garlic

1 quart celery, romaine, mango, pineapple

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 141.5

Oh my gosh, I finally lost some weight. It's been ages! Yippee! 32 lbs baby!

Sleep
8 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Colon Cleanse
MSM

Exercise
Did some walking outside.

Physically
I had a great day. My energy is up, the weather was fantastic and I felt so happy all day. I had no headache! I did have a weird thing happen. I went and got a double shot of wheatgrass juice at Jamba Juice. I have done this a bunch of times before and during the juice feast (I always forget to write it down). Well today it made me nauseaus. I was feeling sick for quite a while with waves of nausea. I have heard other people talk about this but I have never experienced it. Today was a first. It passed after about 1 1/2 -2 hours.

Emotionally
I had a great day emotionally. I felt so light and happy, like I wanted to jump and sing. It is wonderful. I can honestly say that feeling lousy really gives you an appreciation for feeling good.

Cravings
NONE!

Meditation
None

Ramblings
It's amazing to me that I felt as good as I did today since I was plagued with nightmares all night. I kept waking myself up in the middle of nightmares that had to do with serial killers, murderous plans, and accidental family deaths. It was pretty bad. Usually when I have these kinds of dreams I feel a bit funky all day long. Luckily I was able to shake it off pretty easily. I haven't had nightmares like this in a while so I am wondering why now. Bizarre.

I have also noticed that my hair is falling out again. This happened to me when I went raw before. It was really bad. I have really thick hair and I lost so much of it I had to get a new haircut to make it look better. I was used to getting haircuts for a person with thick hair and my girl had to give me a cut for a person with thin hair. It was a bit scary and was one of the things that pushed me to stop eating raw. Now, my hair is not falling out as much as before but I was pulling out quite a bit while brushing so I guess it may be coming again. Ugh! I don't like it.

I was so thrilled with myself today. I went to the previous mentioned Italian restaurant with my family. I sat at the table as they dipped the bread in the oil and cheese. I dished out the spaghetti and meatballs and chicken parmigiana to my kids. I passed the roasted potatoes, the mushroom ravioli, the chopped salad, and the lasagna and I watched as they ate lemon cookies. And guess what!!! I could have cared less!!! I mean it. I really didn't care. There wasn't a little part of me niggling away and feeling bad while I put on a happy face. I truly didn't care. It was awesome!

I feel so empowered today. Going out to that restaurant was like winning a prestigious award. No one else gave me any recognition though. I don't need it. I rocked it out tonight and I feel like I am in charge of my life in a way that I have never been before. It is so cool! I finally feel like I am me. I am Michelle. I am not my father's daughter, my children's mother, my husbands wife. I am just me. Who I am meant to be for better or for worse and I make my decisions and I live the life I choose. It feels fantastic!

Day 69

Photo by Micheo on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, celery, orange

1 quart leaf lettuce, celery, tomato, garlic, cilantro

1 quart romaine, mango, orange, celery

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ???

Sleep
12 hours

Yes, I slept 12 hours Friday Night. I went to bed at 8:30 and got up at 8:30. Phew!

Supplements
Probiotic
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
MSM

Ramblings
I am keeping this post short again because I have fallen behind in my posts yet again. Yesterday I was so relieved to be feeling better. I had a slight headache throughout the day but nothing compared to Friday so it was no biggie.

Yesterday hit 60 degrees and oh my goodness did it feel good to get outside with my family and friends. Being in the sun is so delicious. We were out all day. The kids played baseball, basketball, football, rode scooters, bikes and more. Our friends came and went all day and we always had someone outside playing. It was awesome. We had some friends over for in the evening to play cards and it was a lot of fun. A good day.

My stomach was a bit funny after drinking a couple of my juices yesterday. A lot of gurgling and a bit of bloating. I don't really know what that is about. It may just be left over from my Friday troubles so I will see how it goes today.

I am going to my favorite Italian restaurant tonight for my dad's birthday. It should be interesting to sit there while everyone is eating pasta, bread and all of my "old" favorite foods. Another test for Michelle. :o)

It is going to be another beautiful day and I plan to spend it out and about as much as possible. Hopefully I will be able to post tonight. Probably I will. Have a great Sunday everyone!