Day 40

Photo by Bart Maguire on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
1 quart romaine, red pepper, celery, carrot, cilantro, lime

It was soooo bitter I could barely finish it. It is the same thing I drank yesterday that tasted good and today, yuck. Go figure.

1 quart spinach, celery, orange

1 quart romaine, celery, tomato, carrot, broccoli sprouts, cilantro, arugula

1 head romaine, 4 celery stalks, 4 small tomatoes, handful carrots, 2 oz sprouts, 1/2 bunch cilantro, handful of arugula
I've never juiced arugula so I wanted to be careful and not overdo it like I did with the watercress. It was good.

Two of my friends were over and they wanted to try my juice. I gave them some and they were surprised that it didn't taste too bad. Lucky me.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ???

Sleep
7.5 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12
zinc
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Colon Cleanse

Exercise
None except lots of housecleaning

Physically

I was full of energy today. I got a lot done including shopping and a ton of housecleaning. I even got a lot done on the computer. It was helpful having my son at a friend's house for the afternoon.

The colon cleanse is starting to work a bit better. I had a very productive session in the bathroom today instead of 20 small sessions. It seems like I am moving things out that have been in there a long time by the looks and smell of it. Enough said! Probably too much!

Positive changes
Skin smooth
Weight loss

Detox
Coated tongue
Bad taste in mouth

Hands are dry

Emotionally
Today was a good day on the emotional front. We had company over (hence the cleaning) and we fed them a fajita buffet from a restaurant that we had some gift cards for. I made my juice and drank it while they ate. It wasn't too bad though. I mean the food looked and smelled divine but I knew I wasn't going to eat it so what the heck, why obsess. Funny because I wasn't feeling like that in the produce section earlier as you will read about below.

Cravings
Raw stir fry, strawberries, salad, marinated mushrooms, the list goes on and on.

Trash Bag Tango
Cleaned office

Meditation
Does listening to meditative music while cleaning count?

Ramblings

Day 40 has come and gone and it is so unbelievable to me that I have not eaten solid food in 40 days. I mean really, that is not something I ever envisioned myself doing. I am doing so much better now then I was earlier in the week. I seem to have gotten my second wind thank goodness.

It isn't that I am tied to any particular number of days that I HAVE to be doing this juice feast. I just know that I have not healed fully yet. I am still having stomach issues and digestion issues so stopping now seems rather pointless. On the other hand it is difficult to continue doing something that is challenging without seeing some kind of improvement. I know I have lost weight and I needed to do that. The real reason I began this feast was to heal my body so I am waiting patiently for the day I can drink 4 quarts without indigestion and when I feel like I have cleaned out more completely in the digestive area.

I am proud of myself for this endeavor however I am noticing my ego has been showing up in regard to this juice feast. The first time I noticed it was during shopping. I felt this moment of superiority over others who were there loading up there carts with processed foods. I was able to notice it and for that I am glad. I also noticed that when my friends were over I got an ego charge out of all the questions that were being asked. It made me feel special.

My instinct is to stop myself from these unhealthy thoughts and feelings and then I remember the words of Eckhart, "The only way to gradually go beyond the conditioning thought is to be a witness. You don't need to act on it or say go away, I don't want to be thinking this. That doesn't work." So I am bearing witness and allowing my awareness of all the tricky ways in which my ego makes me feel superior and special to grow and expand.

Today I went to the store to stock up and I was there forever. I was walking around the produce department and really looking at all of the food there. I was drawn to things like crazy. Things like a bag of veggies ready for stir fry, mushrooms, and strawberries. I wanted to make a huge salad, some raw pasta with a marinated portabella mushroom, I wanted to savor the texture of the food and swirl it around in my mouth.

I was looking at the recipe cards they had next to the produce and I found some good ones that can be made raw. Crunchy Cabbage Salad, Pear and Cranberry Salad, Citrus-Almond Grapes, Pomegranate and Pear Salsa. Mmmmmmm. I want it all and then some.

Sorry to torture any of you that are currently juice feasting. I can't seem to get over it though. I was thinking that by day 40 I should be over this craving food thing. I hope it winds down again soon. Thank goodness it calmed down at dinner.

As I was checking out the guy behind the register asked me if I was single! Ha ha. I noticed that he was looking at me "that way." You know what I am talking about. He tried not to, but you could tell. I wanted to laugh out loud and say, "I am 38, on my second marriage and the mother of 5 kids! How you like me now?" I just smiled and said no.

That's when he turned bright red and proceeded to tell me that he had a friend who was single and I looked like his type. How cute.

I have to say that I know it is my ego talking but it was nice to get a little attention. When I was young I used to get that type of attention all the time. My grandmother used to like to walk behind me because she got such a kick out of watching people look at me. Of course at the time I really didn't like the attention. It made me feel uncomfortable.

A few years ago I told my husband that I was beginning to feel invisible. No one ever even looked at me much less gave me a second look. I don't blame them, I didn't even want to look at myself so why would anyone want to look at me? So now, I am able to appreciate it and smile and give myself a little pat on the back for taking care of myself. Yea me!

I am going to go look at myself in the mirror ;o)

Day 39

Photo by Denis Collette on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
1 quart Boston lettuce, pear, celery, mint

1 quart romaine, celery, garlic, cilantro, carrot, red pepper

1 quart romaine, celery, pear, mint

1 quart romaine, red pepper, carrot, lime, cilantro

Can you believe it?! I got in all 4 quarts. I feel like I should be getting some kind of an award. I just want to thank my family and all the people who have supported me. ;o)

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ???

Sleep
7 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12
zinc
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Colon Cleanse

Exercise
5 min. on the rebounder

I have to make an effort to exercise during the day now because my nights are getting busier and I often can't find the time at night.

Physically
I felt pretty good for most of the day. I started to get some gas and heartburn as the night wore on but its not horrible.

Positive changes
Smooth skin
Weight loss

Detox
Coated tongue

Mucus in throat

Red bumps on upper legs

Emotionally
Today was a good day as far as emotions. I was able to let a lot of emotion go today during my journey process which I will talk about more below.

Cravings
I am craving food. Just food. These cravings the last couple of days are different than the ones I had before. I can't quite explain it but I will try. In the first days I didn't really have any cravings. Then I started having these cravings for something to fill me up, to comfort me. I was craving heavy foods like Italian food. Then I was craving the food as a treat, something to make me feel special (this happened when I was on vacation).

Now I am simply craving food. There doesn't seem to be an emotion behind it. I keep listening for it and I haven't found it yet. I find myself looking at pictures of raw food and dreaming about what I am going to be eating when I finish my feast. Russell's blog is KILLING ME!!! Warning, don't go there if you are juice feasting unless you are ready to be tempted by the most delectable looking photographs of food!!! I am thinking about salads, fruit, nori rolls and exotic dishes. I am also craving fish with tons of veggies.

I was happy to see that Juicy Ben is also partaking in the food porn on the web. He has been surfing and looking at recipes and drooling just like me. He has some pictures of peppers that may make the ladies out there blush.

Trash Bag Tango
Cleaned my desk TWICE. I cleaned it and hubby came in and then I had to clean it again.

Meditation
Did a Journey Process today - more below

Rested in the sun 20 min. - more below

I pulled the Joy Journey card:

Joy is in you, all around you, everywhere. Have you been seeking, striving to get a taste of joy through ceaseless activity, through others, through jobs- constantly hoping to get the next morsel? Stop. Your frantic searching puts joy at a distance, always out of reach. Just bring your awareness to this moment. As you're looking at this card, notice how it looks, how it feels in your hand, its beauty, its weight. Then notice the sounds around you. Let yourself become fully present to this very moment.

A natural flow of joy is waiting here. Previously you've overlooked it. When you rest in just this moment, a quiet flow of joy bubbles up from within. You are the joy that you are seeking.

Ramblings
Ever since my huge process at the Journey Intensive last weekend I have been feeling a bit out of sorts, like there was some unfinished business. I decided to spend my free time this morning doing a Journey process.

It was quite powerful and finished up what came up for me over the weekend. It was so huge and exhausting over the weekend that I guess I just didn't complete it. Well I did it today. I felt so good, so light. I was laughing out loud through tears. I am so grateful.

I did a physical journey which allows you to go into your body and find a cellular memory that is stored in a particular area. It is amazing how this process works. They do it with small children and when they finish up they draw before and after pictures of that part of the body. I remember this story about this little girl who went into her ear. When she finished up and drew her picture there was a doctor there who saw the picture and said that it was drawn perfectly and correctly as if in a medical book. He was blown away and I was too.

Anyway, I found myself somewhere in my digestive system; small intestine or colon. It wasn't pretty in there and there were lots of moving creatures that didn't look good or feel very good. After I got my memory and cleared it out I went back and could see the creepy crawlies dying off and being released. It felt so good!

It got me thinking about my candida. I know I have this and keep skirting around the issue. I have decided that I am going to have to meet this head on. I read the info that was on the juice feasting site regarding it and I once again looked into getting threelac. I was going to do this last year and never did it. I am going to talk to my husband to see if we have the money for me to start this up ASAP.

I know I can't truly heal without clearing out the candida that has been living in my body for so many years.

After my process I went up to take a shower. I usually do this earlier in the morning but today it was about 10:00am. After I got out of the shower I noticed that the sun was shining and because I have a southern exposure the sun was coming in my window. I opened up the blinds and tilted them down so no one could see in and the sun would shine on the ground. I put my towel on the floor and began to sunbathe in the nude right there on my bathroom floor. The sun felt so good warming up my whole body. It transported me back to Hawaii where my husband and I spent a week exactly one year ago.

I spent about 20 minutes lying there in the sun and feeling such joy, gratitude and love. Mmmm, it was delicious! Who needs warm weather?

Have a great night everyone!

Day 38

Photo by BluMania on Flickr

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, celery, pineapple,mint

1 quart Boston lettuce, celery, tomato, carrot greens, cilantro, red pepper, kelp

1 quart spinach, celery, pear

1 cup licorice tea

I was on schedule to get my 4 quarts in and then the stomach started rumbling. I think it was from the colon cleanse, I'm not sure. I was bloated and couldn't stand the thought of drinking any juice.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 153

OK, that's better. Now I am officially down 20.5 lbs. Yippee!

Sleep
7 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12

zinc

B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Colon Cleanse

Exercise
5 min rebounder

Physically
I felt pretty good today. I woke up with my usual tiredness and fogginess. As the day went on I felt better and better.

I had several b.m.s today thanks to the colon cleanse. As the day wore on it became a bit much where I was running to the bathroom every few minutes again.

Positive changes
Weight Loss
Skin smooth

Detox
Coated tongue
mucus in throat

Emotionally
I am still a bit more tightly wound up than I was before. I have just finished my period so this is usually the happiest time for me and I am not quite there. It isn't horrible, I'm just a bit testy.

Cravings
Salami again!

Trash Bag Tango
None

Meditation
I pulled the Ocean card from my Journey cards:

You are the ocean - vast and boundless

Have you felt small, limited, bound by circumstances lately? Are you feeling trapped or stuck?

Take a moment to relax. Close your eyes, take a deep breath in...and let it out. Let your awareness become spacious in front, vast behind you. Notice how free and open it is on all sides. Just rest.

Know that you are this limitless ocean of stillness. All activities and thoughts are just waves far above on the surface. They come and they go, they move over the face of the vastness, but the ocean itself is unaffected by them. Know that life's ups and downs are like the flotsam and jetsam that float on the water, while you remain untouched by any story.

Just rest in the expansion.

Ramblings
I spent a good portion of the day preparing my calendar for the spring sports season. My 15 year old made the sophomore volleyball team, my 14 year old is on the freshman baseball team, my 10 year old is playing basketball (just finishing up), baseball, and karate, and my 7 & 5 year olds are playing baseball. I am about to enter the busiest time of year for us.

Every year it is the same thing, fall and spring are a bit crazy. In the past, my life has become absolutely insane and I have gotten really quite stressed out. In the past couple of years I have learned to stay calm and get through it all much easier though.

I really don't know what it is going to be like this year with the addition of juice feasting. I will be honest, I am not ready for it. I Love, Love, Love watching my kids play sports!!! I can't imagine bringing my jar of juice to a baseball game that is outside in the snow! I am going to have to really bundle up to keep warm. His first game is next week and it snowed last night. I hope it warms up soon.

I am going to have to become a bit more organized and on top of things so that I will not be rushing around. I will have to prepare my juice ahead so I will be ready to run out the door at any moment. Oh boy, spring is here. I wish the spring weather was here.

It's so much easier when I only have me to think about!

Reflections on Tolle

Photo by Lutz R Frank on Flickr

I have just completed reading the transcript from the Oprah and Eckhart online class that happened on Sunday night. I tried to log on and watch but my computer didn't want to cooperate so I waited until today and read it instead.

I took some notes so I decided to post them hear along with some of my thoughts regarding what I read.

In order to awaken to your life's purpose you must ask Life, Grace, Consciousness or God what it wants for your life. Instead of asking; "What do I want?" ask, "What does Grace want?"

This has been very powerful for me and is something I learned at the Manifesting Abundance retreat through The Journey. I have used it many times and in fact used it when I began this year of Vibrant Health. You can read about it here.

I think this is a good exercise to do frequently and especially when there are decisions to be made. I try to do it at least twice a year and sometimes quarterly. It keeps me focused on my path.

Find spaces of silence so that you may hear the answer. The answer may not come right away.

So often we send out our prayers and we never take time to listen to the answers to them. Our minds are moving in a constant flurry and there is no room for the quiet. I remember when I did my first Journey process I was so enamored with silence. I had these huge experiences with a powerful and resounding silence. I didn't know that silence was my own truth, my own essence and it was being hidden by my ego and the incessant noise of my mind.

Nature is a beautiful access point into inner stillness

I do not spend enough time in nature. I can't wait for spring!

Become aware of your conditioned mental processes. How you react in every day situations? What kind of thoughts go on in your head? What is it you are putting out into the world? It contributes to the collective consciousness.

Recognize the voice in your head as conditioned thought processes from your past, your childhood, your upbringing and culture.

The only way to gradually go beyond the conditioning thought is to be a witness. You don't need to act on it or say go away, I don't want to be thinking this. That doesn't work.

Wow, this was huge for me. I read it over and over again. I only need to be a witness, not try to change it? I guess that when we are making a decision to change it, that may be coming from our ego, trying to be "good or better." Simply by witnessing it we are allowing our awareness to expand. So interesting!

"The majesty and power and omniscience of this force that we call 'God' cannot be contained in church." Oprah

Oooh, the words melted in my mouth like coconut butter. She did go on to say that if going to church allows you to feel like you are being of service then you should use it.

"If there is dissatisfaction, that is not a good place, not a good starting point for changing your life. The ego may tell you that but it isn't. You need to find a place of acceptance." Eckhart

"No matter where you are, come to terms and become friendly with the present moment. Because if you do not become friendly with the present moment, you're not friendly with life because life is only now. If you're not friendly with life, life cannot support you." Eckhart


Wow, I never would have thought of that. Usually when we are most unhappy with out lives do we feel compelled to make changes. This is saying the opposite, that we need to come to terms with where we are right now and then make changes from that place of peace and acceptance. Once again I imagine that making decisions based on our unhappiness leads to decisions that come from the ego. This is a complete paradigm switch for me.



What is my relationship with the present moment? Is there any negativity in which case I'm fighting? I'm making the present moment into an enemy.

What you resist persists. Make peace with the moment.

Acceptance of what is first. Then action comes out of the acceptance. It no longer comes out of resistance.

Books that were mentioned:

Discover the Power Within You by Eric Butterworth
The Seekers Guide by Elizabeth Lesser
Any books by Joel Goldsmith
Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle

Day 37

Never stop. One always stops as soon as something is about to happen.
-- Peter Brook

I receive several diferent inspirational quotes each day and the above quote found its way into my inbox this morning. It is amazing how synchronicity works!

Juices, Supplements etc. in order of consumption
1 quart water with 1 tsp honey and 1 scoop of my super green formula

1 quart spinach, pineapple, celery, mint

Shot of hemp oil

1 quart romaine, tomato, celery, carrot with tops, lemon, garlic, basil

I just can't seem to get the full amount of juice in me. I wanted to but I just couldn't stomach anymore. I felt sick drinking the last quart and had to dump it.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 155

I gained a pound? What's up with that?

Sleep
8 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice (I forgot to take them w/ the green powder drink)
Colon Cleanse
Chanca Piedra
Liquid Zinc- I went to the health food store and bought a bottle of Zinc Status. You are supposed to put 10 ml (2 tsp) of the liquid in your mouth and hold it for at least 10 seconds. A lack of taste or a delayed taste perception suggests possible zinc insufficiency. An immediate taste perception suggests zinc status may be adequate. It tasted like water to me. I guess I need some zinc. I will continue to take it because there isn't a real good source of zinc in what I am currently ingesting and I have so many symptoms of it.

I was told by my chiropractor friend over the weekend that it sounds to her like I also have a magnesium defiency. I will look into this further and see what I can find out. It seems like I am deficient in many minerals that aren't in veggies. I wonder if that will be the case with magnesium too. I will keep you posted.

Exercise
None

Physically
I felt stronger physically today. As the day went on I felt better and better. My stomach seems to be doing pretty good. Every once in a while I can feel an underlying discomfort but it is not constant like it was before.

Positive changes
Skin is smooth

Detox
Tongue is really coated
Lots of mucus in back of throat
Red bumps on upper thighs and upper arms again

Emotionally
It was a slow start up today. I was feeling a bit down in the morning still. I felt myself coming back as the day went on. I was listening to the CD I wrote about earlier in the day and it really uplifted me. That inner dread I had yesterday seems to have lifted. I am feeling more peaceful and happy.

Cravings
Salami. I don't even really like salami but I craved it anyway.

Trash Bag Tango
Sorted through some pictures.

Meditation
OK, synchronisity AGAIN! I got these cards from The Journey called Guided by Grace and here is the card I chose today:

Second Chance
Have you given up on something or someone recently? Have you let go of a dream or settled for second best in some way? Have you limited or contained yourself somehow?

It is time to give yourself a second chance. Know that life is a flow, a stream of consciousness that is constantly, wonderously changing. No two moments are the same.

Life loves us so much that each moment it offers us a blank page to write our life anew. It's time to pick up that dream, reach for that star, start afresh. Allow your natural wisdom and Grace to guide you. Know that each life experience teaches us profoundly, if we but listen deeply. And know that each day is a fresh start, each hour is a pristine new beginning. Know that every new second is your second chance.

OK Universe! I get it! :o)

Ramblings

Day 37 retraces me back to 1996 which is the year that I got married. You can see my wedding photo with my wonderful husband and my two little guys. Dallas is on the left and Cody is looking so thrilled there on the right. We were married in a garden at The Danada House in Wheaton, IL and had our reception in a tent.

The day started out dark and rainy and we were going to have to move the ceremony inside. With only an hour to go before the start, the clouds parted and the sun came out in all its glory. We had perfect weather for the start of our life together. When we were pronounced man and wife, the guests were asked to reach below their seats where there were little, white pyramids. When they opened them butterflies flew out. It was fantastic!

Our wedding was beautiful and quite magical. People talked about it for months and so many people called me about advice I briefly thought about being a wedding planner. Just thinking about it brings a smile to my face.

I have to say that as wonderful as that day was my relationship with my husband has gotten stronger, deeper and more perfect then when we were first married. I am so blessed to have him!

I had a colonic appointment today and I can definitely tell that things are beginning to move more freely now. I am releasing a lot more material each time I go. Maybe I lost that pound I gained. :o)

Kirtana

I purchased this CD of Kirtana at the Journey Intensive. I heard some of the songs last year before the CD was released and I really loved them. You can hear samples of the songs at the website.

I decided to post the lyrics of one of my favorite songs because it goes so well with what I have been learning and experiencing in Eckhart Tolle's Book and in The Journey.

Just because the tracks are laid...
or just because your ticket's paid for...
and some crazed conductor keeps on calling out your name,
you don't need to board the train.
No, you don't need to board the train.

Trains of thought will come and go,
but you are not your thoughts, you know -
so why get all caught up in where they lead?

You are who these thoughts are passing through - don't you see.
You are who these thoughts are passing through.
Be free. Be free.

Even when you're feeling frightened,
sad or hurt or unenlightened,
you can find a peace that underlies what passes by.
Don't mistake the weather for the sky (of your being)
Why mistake the weather for the sky?

Feelings rise then fall away -
even those you wish would stay,
so why equate your sense of self with mood?
You are who emotion passes through - don't you see.
You are who emotion passes through.
Be free. Be free.

What a blessing to have taken birth in this human form -
with the chance to see that who we are was really never born,
can never die, is always free.

If Destiny decides to strike some version of the script you like
And make a melodrama of your endless cabaret,
you know you can still enjoy the play (yes you can) -
if you're still and you know how to play.

Just treat it like a mystery and view it from the balcony.
Laugh and cry and stomp your feet,
but don't believe a thing.
You are who these scenes are passing through - don't you see.
You are who this play is passing through.
Be free. Be free.

Here is Kirtana's biography as listed on her website:

Born and raised in a small coastal town in Maine, Kirtana has played the guitar and written songs since the tender age of eleven. For the last twenty years she has lived on the central coast of California, drawing constant nourishment and inspiration from the beauty and energy of the area.

A long time student of spirituality and meditation, Kirtana's music early on reflected themes of personal transformation, healing and a growing self-awareness. As might be expected, her albums sequentially chart her spiritual evolution as her attention shifted from personal healing, to concern and prayers for the planet, to the necessity for awakening to our true nature.

In 1997 she met her beloved teacher: Gangaji. The songs from her cd: 'This Embrace' reflect the love and self-recognition sparked by that life-altering encounter.Her fifth CD, 'A Deeper Surrender', has been described by one reviewer as "an exquisite paean to the ineffable longing for the Beloved" Her sixth and most recent cd, 'Falling Awake' continues the expression of that deepening.

In addition to her own concerts, she performs at New Thought Churches, satsangs, and Truth-centered conferences. Her music is distributed internationally and has been used by various spiritual teachers, noted authors, healers and seminar leaders at their meetings and workshops (including events with Gangaji, Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie, Brandon Bays, etc.)

The usual category designation for such music is 'New Age Vocal'. But a more appropriate genre might be 'Music for Awakening' or 'Contemporary Sacred'. In Kirtana's own words the best description for both her music and her purpose in sharing it is to "celebrate divine love and the truth of who we are."

Day 36

1 quart romaine, tomato, snap peas, celery

1 quart spinach, celery, orange

1 quart spinach, celery, red pepper, carrot

Keeping it simple for today. Revving up for tomorrow.

Week 5 Review

Hi everyone, it is good to be back. I feel like I was gone for an eternity! How is everyone doing with the beginning of the Global Juice Feast? It is so great that you have all begun this wonderful process and I can't wait to get some time to catch up on all the blogs that are out there. Way to go everyone!

My weekend was...well interesting. It was about a 4 1/2 hour drive that my mom and I shared and that went well. When we got there I immediately went to Malek Al Kabob to see what kind of juice they had. I ordered their special juice that was made with celery, carrot, parsley, orange and apple. I asked for extra celery and parsley and hardly any carrot. It was still pretty heavy on the carrot.

I headed over to the hotel, checked in and went straight to my meeting. It was good to see my old friends that I hadn't seen since July. They are all such lovely people and they came in from all over, Florida, California, Texas and Colorado. It was a wonderful reunion.

We had to be ready to go at 7:30 am on Saturday so I got up and made myself a quart of water with my green powder and some lemon. Eeeeeew, it was disgusting. I chugged as much of it as I could but ended up dumping it and drinking the master cleanse.

At lunch I took off to get more juice and I was in quite a hurry. I ended up getting pulled over and given a ticket. It was so interesting. Normally I would have turned this into the biggest drama in the world. Instead I just sat there and decided to stay present. I noticed for the first time in 15 minutes that it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and there were birds flying around. I ended up sitting there waiting for my ticket smiling like a goof.

Later my mom said something like, "I would have been so mad." I said I didn't know why, getting mad wasn't going to change it. I was still speeding and I still got the ticket and getting mad wasn't going to change anything so why bother. My mom looked at me like I was crazy. It's funny because at one point she got a little mad at me when we were talking about these things and she said, "I don't want to be a damn yogi here, I just want a little healing." I guess we just aren't on the same page.

I ended up buying 2 quarts of the juice a day and each time I asked for more and more celery. The poor man just couldn't seem to get it. It was fine though. I ended up hanging out with my friends Saturday night while they ate pizza. It looked really good but it didn't drive me crazy.

Sunday morning I woke myself up because I was having a horrendous dream. It was really awful and it brought up some stuff that was gurgling around under the surface. I tried to shake it off because I knew they were counting on me to work that day. I just couldn't keep it together. When I went to the meeting at 7:30 they had me scheduled to work with someone and I had to tell everyone that I couldn't do it. I felt terrible about it.

I ended up losing it so bad that I had to be taken into another room to have a process. I was a wreck. 3 hours later I finished one of the deepest processes I have had. It was huge and I cleared so much stuff. I hadn't had anything to "eat" yet so I was feeling a bit woozy. I ended up going up to my friends' room (I had checked out already) and slept for 3 hours. I woke up and still felt lousy so I headed off for my trip to juicy town. I felt so much better once I drank my orange concoction and finally went back to work.

I arrived home at midnight on Sunday night and crawled into bed. I wish I could have stayed in bed all day today. I am not feeling my normal happy and uplifted self after such a deep process. I don't really understand why, this has never happened to me before. I wonder if there is something more going on. I am going to see if I can do a process on myself and clear some things up. If not, I will have to call a friend and get some help.

I am also feeling quite finished with juice feasting. I am going to wait and see what happens when I get myself sorted out. I have never committed to an amount of time for this feast however I don't feel like my healing has been as full as it could be so I think I should keep going. I also have about 20 more pounds to lose. I really don't feel like continuing though. I can't stand the thought of drinking juice and I can't stand the thought of making it. I decided to just get through today and see what tomorrow brings. There is definitely something going on with me.

You may have noticed that I did not take a picture today. Since I didn't shower or get out of my pajamas I figured it wasn't the best day for picture taking. I will just skip this week and we'll see how I look next week ;o)

I am excited about the start of the Oprah, Eckhart class that starts tonight. I am all ready and have the final countdown counting down on my computer. I can't wait for it!!!! I hope that many of you will be joining me as well. I think it is going to be life changing.

I apologize for my lack of enthusiasm and dull post today. I am looking forward to my improvement as much as you. Hopefully it will be quick. Have a great night!