Day 68

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, orange, celery

1 quart romaine, celery, garlic, tomato, cilantro

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ??

Sleep
7.5 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Parasite cleanse

Ramblings
Since I am writing this a day late I will be keeping it short. I will post about today later. Yesterday was rough!!! Probably the worst day I have had since beginning this feast. It was the first day I was to increase my dose of the parasite cleanse and holy moly did it do me in. I was on the couch suffering the whole day and I went to bed at 8:30 because I just couldn't stand feeling the way I did anymore. The best thing to do is go to sleep and hope for the best in the morning.

I spoke with David and he said that I should stop the parasite cleanse because it could be that it is not agreeing with me. I just figured it was working but I can see now that I doubled it that it is just wreaking havoc on my system. I have done a parasite cleanse before and didn't have this problem. I am doing the Parastroy cleanse instead of the better one. I guess I will have to try the other one when I go back to it later.

So that is my day in a nutshell. Lots of fun. I will let you know that I am feeling better today but more about that later.

Day 67

Photo by Setev on flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart celery, spinach, orange

1 quart celery, Boston lettuce, mango, kiwi

1 quart romaine, celery, tomato, cilantro, alfalfa sprouts

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 144

I have been stuck at this same weight for a couple of weeks now and I am over it! :o) It's not fun because my skinny jeans are starting to feel tight again. What's up with that?

Sleep
7 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Parasite cleanse

Exercise
None - I hurt my neck yesterday. It is a bit better today but I don't want to make it worse so I am taking it easy.

Physically
I visited enemaville this morning and it helped my headache a bit. Not totally, but better. I am feeling very bloated and my heartburn is growing. Still manageable because it is under the surface but it is growing.

Positive changes
Same

Detox
Same

Emotionally
Boy this was an up and down day. I started out feeling OK. I went for coffee (I had chamomile tea) around lunch time and that was fun. Then I went to my son's volleyball game and it was a painful loss. It got me a bit agitated. Then I was BORED. I was bored with music, bored with juice, bored with everything. I was feeling antsy. Now I am just tire. It's weird.

Cravings
Chinese food.
French fries
Sausages

Meditation

Perfection

There is an innate perfection that pervades all of life. The rosebud is as complete in its perfection as the rose in full bloom. That same perfection is in the faded rose petals and even when they decay and offer themselves back to the soil.

Are there ways in which you are striving to get things right, struggling to make them more perfect, pleading, "If only...then I could finally relax"?

What if you were to stop playing God for a moment. Stop trying to fix, change and perfect what is already perfect? Just relax - fall into the divine perfection that permeates the whole Universe, and which suffuses each moment. Rest in it, bathe in it, deeply relax in the knowledge that things are perfect just as they are.

God does not need your help to make life more perfect.

Ramblings

It's funny, when I first started reading this I thought it didn't really apply to me. Then I got to the second paragraph and I could see the connection. If only ... then I could finally relax. I have been feeling like that a lot lately. I have been feeling driven to do something, do anything. To finish this feast to move on with my life, to take this class, to learn this new thing or that new thing. Then finally I will have the answers, I will be complete.

Ha ha, you think I would learn this. I have even talked about it here on this blog. There is no there. There is only here. I will never get "there" unless I am here. It makes so much sense and it resonates with me and then I forget. I imagine the more I remember the easier it will become.

Sometimes I feel like life is a big University... the University of Life. There are all kinds of classes to take, health and nutrition, parenthood, relationships, love, etc. You sign up for classes, some you love, some...not so much. Everyday you learn something new. Sometimes it is easy to learn and other times it is a struggle. You study and you study and yet some of the facts slip away. As you progress through the classes; relationships 101, 102, 103, 201... suddenly after being immersed in the material for more and more time things begin to click. What was once abstract and difficult is second nature and easy. You begin to "get it." You begin to live it.

I am progressing through my classes and some things are easy and others are difficult. I keep going to class, I keep studying and I keep learning new things. Everyday something becomes easier for me, something becomes part of my being. I am not ready to graduate the University of Life yet because I have so much to learn. So many fascinating classes are being offered and I want to take them all. I want to experience all that this beautiful university has to offer so that I can grow and expand.

Juice Feasting Truth

Photo by mallix on Flickr

It is clearly not the journey for everyone. People succeed in as many ways as there are people. Some can be completely fulfilled with destinations that are much closer to home and more comfortable. But if you long to keep going, then I hope you are able to follow my lead to the places I have gone. To within a
whisper of your own personal perfection. To places that are sweeter because you worked so hard to arrive there. To places at the very edge of your dreams.

- Michael Johnson

Day 66

Photo by Klein Matt 66 on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, orange, coconut oil, chlorella
I was out of celery. Oops.

1 quart Boston lettuce, tomato, lemon, celery, snap peas, garlic, spirulina

1 quart romaine, pineapple, mango, celery

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ??

Sleep
7 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Parasite Cleanse

Exercise
None

Physically
Something is definitely going on with me physically. I am having 2 BMs each day and still having headaches and feeling really bad. When I was pregnant with my first son I got a heart arrhythmia. I had it tested and it is not the dangerous type. Since then I have continued to have it. I notice that it seems to flare up when my body is under stress. I used to have it when I was hungover all the time and I could usually tell when I was getting sick before any symptoms because my heart would start skipping beats. Well it happened again today so I know something is going on.

My fluid filled bump is also back today. Strangest thing. I hate to even say this but I also had a bit of heartburn today. Boo hoo! It wasn't horrible, but it was there. I am thinking about stopping the chlorella and spirulina again to see if that helps. Nothing else has really changed much.

Positive changes
Skin smooth
Lost weight

Detox
Headache
Coated tongue
Tons of mucus in throat, runny nose
Fluid filled bump on inner lip

Emotionally
I am feeling rather low key today. Tired, dull, lifeless and unattached. It's a bummer. This is usually my happy time in my "womanly cycle" and for the second time it isn't really that happy. Hopefully it will get better. I have to double my parasite pills in a couple of days though so who knows.

Cravings
None

Meditation
None

Ramblings
There is something about the number 66 that I find attractive. I just couldn't let the day go by without posting a picture of it. Seems silly I know but oh well.

I am very excited because I have a meeting with David Rain on Friday. I can't wait to see what he has to say. I will have to be good about writing down questions so I don't forget anything.

OK, I know most of you probably aren't watching American Idol and I probably shouldn't be either BUT I do and Michael Johns' last performance was really awesome! I loved it! I actually have to close my eyes when I listen because his movements annoy me but the song moves me.

Since we are on the topic of music and American Idol I want to talk about the Clark Brothers. They also performed on AI tonight. They won The Next Great American Band and there is something really special about them. They have this passion when they play that you can absolutely feel. They can rock it out and they have a soft, gentle side too. You can feel the emotion pouring out of the lead singer when he sings that last song. Wow. I just can't help but smile.

By the way, I don't even really like country music. Pretty funny huh?

So I guess this could win the award for the most off topic post I have ever given you. Hee hee. It was fun though. xo

Enneagram

Yesterday I posted about the Enneagram and Penni asked a question about it. I've been meaning to write about it for a friend anyway so here we go.

The history of the Enneagram is a bit of a mystery. It is said to be based on ancient Wisdom Traditions and modern psychology of personality. Basically it explains 9 personality types.

It was taught to me in The Journey but not at the level of personality. It was taught that they are ego fixations. This is the same ego that Eckhart Tolle talks about in his book, A New Earth. The Enneagram basically breaks down the ego into 9 different types. Each of these ego fixations have core drives and fears.

To further explain it, each person has a core ego fixation. As I said, mine is an 8. We also have wings which are the numbers to each side of us. In my case that would be 7 and 9. If you look at the 8, you will see there are two lines that radiate from it. One goes to 2 and the other goes to 5. These are called the directions of integration and disintegration. Basically the premise is that under periods of growth you will move one direction and under periods of stress you will move in another. This is a bit too technical for me and I don't actually believe it goes only one way of the other.

What I do believe is that as an 8 I have times in my life when I am a 7, 9, 5 or 2. Going back over my life I have seen distinct patterns that make this very true for me. Now, of course, we all have bits and pieces of all 9 of these but it is the core fears and core drives that really can give you a sense of where you sit.

We were taught this not to pigeon hole us or our loved ones as certain personality types. We were taught to see that all of these are actually the ego's way of keeping us separate from our true nature, our true essence. We see that the games the ego plays do not give us the true happiness and joy we are seeking. Just as Eckhart teaches that the ego keeps us always wanting more, never satisfied, never truly happy. It is by realizing what drives the ego that we can learn to see the lie that it has perpetuated.

Seeing ego fixations in others allows us to see them not as their "personality" but as their essence being driven by the fears of their ego. This enables a sense of compassion and love instead of judgement and anger.

There is a whole lot more to the true teaching of the Enneagram that I cannot pretend to know. I also don't truly care to get into anymore detail with it because it doesn't serve me. I feel that simply looking at the types and trying to figure out which personality type a person is can be very difficult. In fact, when I tried to do this for myself I never dreamed I was an 8. It was only when I dove in at a deeper level that I uncovered my true inner drive.

That being said, if you are interested in learning more there is a lot of information out there on the Internet. This website seems to have a good amount of information. I truly believe that the way I learned it through the No Ego Retreat was the best, most thorough way to learn it. In fact, to me, it was the most powerful and life changing module of the entire practitioners program and the one I would most like to re-sit. We lived each ego fixation, experiencing them from all modalities. It was amazing.

Here is a list of the nine different types. This information is from The Enneagram Institute.

Type One: The Reformer

The principled, idealistic type. Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic.

Type Two: The Helper
The caring, interpersonal type. Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.

Type Three: The Achiever
The adaptable, success-oriented type. Threes are self-assured, attractive, and charming. Ambitious, competent, and energetic, they can also be status-conscious and highly driven for advancement. They are diplomatic and poised, but can also be overly concerned with their image and what others think of them. They typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness. At their Best: self-accepting, authentic, everything they seem to be–role models who inspire others.

Type Four: The Individualist
The introspective, romantic type. Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

Type Five: The Investigator
The perceptive, cerebral type. Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation. At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way.

Type Six: The Loyalist
The committed, security-oriented type. Sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. Excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious–running on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion. At their Best: internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others.

Type Seven: The Enthusiast
The busy, productive type. Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.

Type Eight: The Challenger
The powerful, aggressive type. Eights are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. Eights feel they must control their environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating. Eights typically have problems with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable. At their Best: self-mastering, they use their strength to improve others' lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring.

Type Nine: The Peacemaker
The easy-going, self-effacing type. Nines are accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.

Day 65

Photo by Beautiful Cataya on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, celery, orange, coconut oil, cholorella

1 quart romaine, celery, apple, kiwi

1 quart romaine, tomato, cilantro, celery, lime, spirulina

1 quart romaine, celery, mango, pineapple

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ??

Sleep
6 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Parasite cleanse

Exercise
None - I jumped up from my computer and said to my husband, "I am going to go to Pilates class tonight at 7:00." As I finished the sentence I looked at the clock and it was 6:57. Ugh. No time. I have to be better about making it a priority because I really did want to go.

Physically
Headache on and off today. I am also having a lot of mucus and I got a big fat pimple on my eyebrow. Ouch. I had 2 bowel movements today and I still feel constipated.

Positive changes
Skin smooth

lost weight

Detox
Headache

Coated tongue

Mucus in throat

Pimples

Emotionally
I had a busy day today and I felt good emotionally. I am thinking I may be a bit disconnected which goes along with my ego fixation. On the enneagram I am a core 8 fixation but I have been living as a 9. The 9s are known as the peacemakers. On the unhealthy side they tend to shut down their emotions both good and bad and they can be sleepy and a bit lazy. I actually napped today so I am thinking my 9 fixation may be rearing its head. (Not all napping has something to do with ego fixations. This is simply my personal observation of things going on in my life right now.)

Cravings
None - I smelled my son's burrito tonight because I was hungry but I didn't really want to eat it.

Meditation
None

Ramblings
I am amazed that I managed to get 4 quarts in today. The thing is that I was pretty hungry today, more so than usual. I am actually still hungry at midnight which is weird. I realize I may need to drink some water but I won't do it this late at night.

Things are moving along smoothly in my life at the current moment. There are several things that are falling into place nicely and it is seeming rather effortless (ha ha, that was yesterday's meditation). It is so wonderful when things like this happen.

The photo above is the Cloud Gate in Millennium Park here in Chicago. It was created to reflect the clouds in the skyline. A lot of people like to call it the big bean which I think sounds dumb. I think it is just beautiful in an odd way. I love the smooth shape, and the way it reflects its surroundings.

I don't actually spend much time in the city of Chicago. I live about 45-60 minutes outside of the city and I just don't have much reason to go there. I don't enjoy the crazy driving and parking is a joke. It seems that once I get down there I enjoy it so I should just block out time on my calendar (only when it is warm) and make myself go. My kids hardly ever go down there and it would be good for them to experience it.

I am setting the intention that when I finish this post and I go up to bed and drift off to sleep I will remember a dream. I haven't been remembering much and I want to. Let's see if it works.

Night night.

A New Earth Week 2

I know Oprah and Eckhart and many of you are on week 5. I am on week 2. I just finished watching week 2 and want to share my thoughts.

Something that struck me was when Eckhart said that 98-99% of human thought is useless and repetitive. Ummmm, really? Think about how much of our day is spent in human thought... really think about it. 98-99% of it is useless and repetitive? What a waste! The energy that is put into something that is useless is amazing!

They were talking about people and their stories and the story is not who we are. It reminds me of my friend Skip who is the head trainer for the North American Journey. He always talks about people who carry their stories around with them like a big ball and chain. They drag it around with them and then every chance they get they begin spinning that ball and chain around them (spinning their story), knocking people over with it and then dragging it on and doing it all over again.

The moment I heard this I knew I related to it. I was always knocking people over with my story, over and over and over again. I was being dragged down by it. I started to think about this blog and realizing that I have been sharing parts of my "story" here in this venue. I wanted to see what my motivation is. Am I swirling the ball around again? The answer is yes and no. I realize that some of the time I am telling my story in context to my healing, in hopes that it will resonate with someone else, someone who may be able to see something in me that they wouldn't be able to see in themselves.

I have become aware of some times when my story has come out of an egoic place however. A place where I get a chance to once again share my "poor me" story. I am not sure if you all can see the difference or can sense the difference but it is clear to me. What another wonderful awareness that I have received.

Who am I? This is a big thing for me. One of the most profound moments in my journey has been when I was able to ask myself this question over and over just as Eckhart discusses. It brought me to the most intense experience with my true self that I have ever experienced, one that I cherish. The amazing thing is that now I have the ability to ask myself that question anytime and find the truth beneath my ego.

I was taught to do it a bit differently than Eckhart described. He said that the question is to be asked over and over and not answered. It is in the empty space that you get a sense of your consciousness. I believe that is true. Because I was so wrapped up in my labels that I had to answer the question over and over again. It went something like this;

mom, daughter, woman, ugly, pretty, mom, wife, student, teacher etc.

This went on for some time until the strangest thing happened. I found the word strawberry pop out of my mouth. I burst out laughing at the idea of myself as a strawberry. From there, however, became this awareness that I was connected. I was a part of everything. My answers shifted to things like;

water, rain, clouds, air, birds, stars, milky way, etc. until just like Eckhart said there was no answer. There was only this emptiness, this expansiveness, this consciousness. Mmmmmm, it was a defining moment for me.

They talked about people clinging to their illness and that it is important to shift your attention away from it. To no longer talk about your illness because it empowers the illness. When there is pain, find the parts of the body where the most aliveness can be found and focus on those areas. Pain requires surrender. There are two kinds of pain, physical pain and psychological pain. When the mind complains it creates the psychological pain on top of the physical pain.

Very interesting. I will be reflecting on this and putting it into practice as it seems to be an area I could use some help with.

There was discussion about weight loss and how it is a spiritual process. Oprah said something about allowing yourself to be fed from the energy that is already here. One thing that was said in relation to buying but I think applies to many of us and eating as well was this,

"When you can no longer feel the life that you are, you are likely to try and fill up your life with things."

For me it has been food. Of course I can relate to "things" being used here as well, but seeing how my focus has been on my eating, this struck a chord with me.

I have posted before about the food being used to fill me up, to make me feel good, important, special or comfortable. I would guess that the way to avoid this is to spend time feeling the life that I am, feeling the aliveness in my body, my inner body. I can do this be being present and in the moment often throughout the day.

I realize I have written a lot here today. I have done this as a type of journal for myself and I hope there was a kernal of truth here for you. I want to leave you with a quote I found inspirational:

There is more power in letting go than holding on.

Day 64

Juices in order of consumption

1 quart spinach, orange, celery, coconut oil

1 quart romaine, celery, mango, pineapple, cilantro, garlic

I know it sounds like a weird combination and it kind of was but it was good. I used just a bit of cilantro and a small clove of garlic. It was nice to have something different.

1 quart romaine, celery, tomato, cilantro, garlic

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 145

Sleep
7 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Parasite cleanse

Exercise
Walked 1o min.

Physically
Headache, headache, headache today. It came about in the afternoon and I couldn't leave my little guy alone and go to enemaville so I suffered. Yuck. I have stopped taking the colon cleanse while doing the parasite cleanse because one of the pills is to move thing along but it doesn't seem to be working so I think I will add the colon cleanse again.

Positive changes
Skin smooth
lost weight
I thought my nails were getting stronger but they have started breaking again and they aren't really that long so I have to take this one away.

Detox
Headache
Coated tongue
Mucus

Emotionally
I am feeling very quiet today. Very still and introverted. It might be the weather. It is grey and stormy today.

Cravings
None

Meditation

Effortlessness

The nature of Grace is effortless ease. It has a natural flow, just as a river flows easily over and around smooth stones, with no need to fight, resist or remove the obstacles.

Are you trying to force or control something? Are you efforting to put a square peg into a round hole? Are you struggling to make things work in a particular way?

Just step back, breathe and open up to other possibilities.

Give up the notion that things have to be done in a fixed way and stop efforting.

Relax and trust that there is an effortless, guided way - maybe one you haven't yet thought of. Ask Grace for it to be revealed, and be willing to be guided - effortlessly.

Ramblings
The photo I have posted is of a journal page I created today. I was feeling like I wanted to create something so I got some stuff out and started playing around. It was fun and I thought I would share. I love the idea of writing on it. I just started writing whatever came to my mind. Writing and writing. Too fun.

I didn't do much else today. I caught up on blog posts from being gone for the weekend. I worked on my book a bit and caught up on some tv. I haven't been watching much. I like to watch Oprah's Big Give and then the Monday Oprah show. So I have just finished that and now I will hit the hay after posting.

It's always hard to post on Mondays. I've already said so much in my review. Hmmm, that's it. Good night. xo

Week 9 Review

Here I am celebrating another week of success on my juice feast. It is amazing! 9 weeks! Crazy!

I had an awesome Journey process at the beginning of the week and I have to say that I am pretty proud of myself for keeping up with this work throughout my feast. It is really so helpful to take some time each week for introspection in some way and for me The Journey really gets me cleaned out in the most amazing way. I love the way I feel when I am done.

I haven't released any weight this week. No big changes for me physically or emotionally. I guess I am just coasting. Coasting along in my juicy world. I would like to be dropping some more weight here and there. I have about 10-15 more pounds that I would like to release especially around my stomach. I look OK in clothes but summer is on it's way and I want to look good in everything.

I started my parasite cleanse and I haven't "seen" anything. I have felt pretty lousy though. In fact, I have a headache right now! Hee hee.

I have been feeling very stable this week. Even with the PMS (I got my period today). I feel more of who I am. I don't feel like I am floundering around, hoping for something, waiting for something, searching for something. Emotionally, I feel good and it is nice.

The photo I got from a blog I enjoy. She created the painting for someone that inspires her and I just thought I would like to send it to all of you because this is how I feel about you. I know that having you all here supporting me has really allowed me to grow and to expand in this feast and I really want to take the time to thank you all again for stopping by and leaving your comments. It has been wonderful. If there are any of you out there who haven't said hi, I invite you to drop me a note. I don't bite :o)

My wonderful friend Hanlie has awarded me yet another award. She is so sweet. This one is called the Nice Matters award.

“The Nice Matters Award is for those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world.”

What an honor. Thank you Hanlie!

I would like to pass it on to some wonderful blogging friends that I have been lucky enough to get to know.

Penni, you have been a source of light in my juice feast. I look forward to your blog posts, your sweet comments and your daily twitters. You always put a smile on my face. I can't wait to hear about your trip!!!

Katrina, you are just the most gentle and loving soul and I always light up like the sun when I read anything that you have to say. Thank you for sharing your heart with the world.

Kristi, I have enjoyed your honest and soulful journey and I have appreciated your support every step of the way. I love to read your words as they float through my mind.

Carrie, you have such a wonderful way of looking at life and I have enjoyed getting to know you through your blog. I have appreciated your support so much.

Of course if I could I would give it right back to Hanlie for all the support I have gotten from her. We have a special bond all the way across the globe. And if Hanlie wouldn't have done it already, I would be passing this onto Ben too. Ben, you always make me smile. Your posts crack me up many a day! I would love to hang out with you!

You are all wonderful beings. Thank you for being you!

Bring on week 10!

Day 63

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, orange, celery, coconut oil

1 quart romaine, tomato, cucumber, garlic, parsley, celery, kelp

1 quart romaine, mango, pineapple, celery

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 144

Sleep
8.5 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Parasite cleanse - I forgot to write it down yesterday but I took it.

Exercise
None.

Physically
I felt better today. I was relieved because today was my second Easter with my dad and I didn't want to be at a big family event feeling like yesterday.

Positive changes
Same

Detox
Same

Emotionally
I was feeling pretty even today. I felt a bit funny at my dad's house and I don't quite understand it. I have a cousin who admits to being very uncomfortable around others and you can actually feel it coming from her sometimes. You can see it on her face and it can make others uncomfortable. I had moments when I felt like her today. I was feeling a bit standoffish and separate. I was a bit irritated. It was weird. There was no real reason for it so I hope it was a fluke.

Cravings
None- I have to tell you that something has surely shifted with the cravings. I went to Costco with my husband and I was commenting on how weird it was to walk around and feel like I was looking at stuff that wasn't even food. Raw meat, bread, pretzels, raw chicken. It all seemed so foreign.

I made plates for my kids, cut their meat, buttered their rolls and sat at the table with everyone while they ate. I smelled everything because I was curious. My son got a piece of chocolate cake and I asked him if I could smell it. He thought I was crazy. It was funny because I didn't really want to eat any of it. I just wanted to smell it. I didn't feel unhappy or deprived. I actually felt detached from it. And let me tell you that chocolate cake, especially a dark gooey one like the one that was served was always an enormous weakness for me. I couldn't have cared less. Awesome!
Meditation
None

Ramblings

My dad was really impressed with the way I looked and kept bragging about me to everyone. He said that not only did I look thinner but that I looked 10 years younger. While he was bragging to someone he was saying how great I looked and then he said something that I have never, not ever, heard him say before and it shocked me. He said, "Well, I always think she looks great." You could have blown me over with a feather. I always felt so ashamed of the way I looked around him and I thought he felt the same way. He might have but it was nice to hear him say that.

It's so funny the things people say when they see my juice or find out what I am doing. So often it is something like, "I could never do that." or "I like my food too much to give it up." or my favorite, "I need to lose about 50 pounds but not that bad." Ha ha, that cracks me up.

I told someone that if my only motivation was to lose weight I wouldn't do a juice feast either. There are a ton of ways to lose weight that are easier. Juice feasting is way beyond a diet. It is a life changing experience that changes you in ways that you could never even dream of. You have to be ready for the changes that come in all areas of your life and let's be honest, there are so many people who are living their lives in box. They don't even know there is anything else out there. They don't know you can cure your body without the use of handfuls of pills. They don't know the energy and the unstoppable feeling you can get from doing this type of thing. Are they ready for it? Probably not. Can they be opened up to it? You betcha! It just takes time. It takes repetitive introductions to the concepts so that they can slowly open up like a flower.

I think the times are changing and I know the more we get out there and introduce them slowly and gently they will begin to be more willing to try things and to listen. There is a fine line that has to be walked to keep from shoving it down their throats and I feel as if this juice feast has given me the ability to stay on the right side of that line. I am more sure about myself and don't feel a need to teach anyone anything. I don't feel like I have to justify myself to make myself feel right. I am comfortable and happy with where I am and who I am so that make it easy to share from a good place.

The photo I posted today is of my kids and my dad. I've been talking about him a lot lately so I thought I would show you what he looks like. This picture is actually about a year old. My kids look different with the hair but my dad looks pretty much the same. If anything he looks better these days. He has lost weight and gotten into better shape so he looks good. It was so cute, my 10 year old told him he looked taller. I laughed and I told him that he looked taller because he is thinner. Kids are so funny.

Day 62

Photo by Elkhost on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, celery, orange, coconut oil

1 quart leaf lettuce, tomato, celery, garlic, cilantro, kelp

1 shot flax oil and evening primrose oil

1 quart romaine, mango, spinach, celery

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ??

Sleep
7.5 hours

Supplements
Probiotic
Chanca Piedra
B12
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice

Exercise
None

Physically
Not feeling up to par today. I woke up feeling pretty yucky. I think I am still adjusting to the parasite cleanse. I have a headache and feel sooo sooo tired. I am having waves of nausea and dizziness. Yuck.

Positive changes
same ol' same ol'

Detox
same as above :o)

Emotionally
I am feeling blah today. We had a party to go to and I really didn't want to go. I was just not up to socializing and being nice to people. Not to mention that everyone would be drinking and eating and I would just be sitting there. I just wanted to crawl in bed and stay there.

I mustered up the energy and did it and of course it was fine. Everyone was very nice and once I got there my energy began to flow. I am normally very social so I adjusted.

Cravings
None

Meditation
None

Ramblings
So I took a couple of trips to enemaville last night. Not as productive as I would have liked but it did get rid of my headache so that was good. I was feeling so lousy today that I decided to take 3 trips there today before my party. It helped a bit but not as much as I had hoped!

I went back through all of my posts from the very beginning of this juice feast. Besides seeing lots of typos and mistakes :o0 I was amazed at all that I had forgotten. I am so glad I kept this record so I could see where I have been.

OK so don't follow this link if you are juice feasting because this site is all about raw food recipes. She just started this new blog and it looks like it is going to be fabulous. You might want to check it out when you finish. I am very excited about this.

If I calculate my retracing I am back to the time when I was 18 years old. I moved out of my mom's house the second I turned 18 and moved in with my ex-husband. It was a fun party time with loads and loads of drinking. We partied and had fun all the time. When it wasn't fun we were fighting. Up and down, up and down. I have to say that my ex knew how to have fun. We went boating and drinking, camping and drinking, skiing and drinking, parties and drinking. Oh, did I mention that we drank a lot? Hmmmm, my poor liver.

I am taking much better care of it these days. I love you liver. Thank you for all of your hard work clearing out all that toxic alcohol that I put in. You have done a wonderful job even when I wasn't doing such a hot job. I am forever grateful!

I love pictures of doors, especially old worn doors that have been around forver. They are so cool. No reason for the picture today. I just liked it.