Tuesday, April 1, 2008

A New Earth Week 2

I know Oprah and Eckhart and many of you are on week 5. I am on week 2. I just finished watching week 2 and want to share my thoughts.

Something that struck me was when Eckhart said that 98-99% of human thought is useless and repetitive. Ummmm, really? Think about how much of our day is spent in human thought... really think about it. 98-99% of it is useless and repetitive? What a waste! The energy that is put into something that is useless is amazing!

They were talking about people and their stories and the story is not who we are. It reminds me of my friend Skip who is the head trainer for the North American Journey. He always talks about people who carry their stories around with them like a big ball and chain. They drag it around with them and then every chance they get they begin spinning that ball and chain around them (spinning their story), knocking people over with it and then dragging it on and doing it all over again.

The moment I heard this I knew I related to it. I was always knocking people over with my story, over and over and over again. I was being dragged down by it. I started to think about this blog and realizing that I have been sharing parts of my "story" here in this venue. I wanted to see what my motivation is. Am I swirling the ball around again? The answer is yes and no. I realize that some of the time I am telling my story in context to my healing, in hopes that it will resonate with someone else, someone who may be able to see something in me that they wouldn't be able to see in themselves.

I have become aware of some times when my story has come out of an egoic place however. A place where I get a chance to once again share my "poor me" story. I am not sure if you all can see the difference or can sense the difference but it is clear to me. What another wonderful awareness that I have received.

Who am I? This is a big thing for me. One of the most profound moments in my journey has been when I was able to ask myself this question over and over just as Eckhart discusses. It brought me to the most intense experience with my true self that I have ever experienced, one that I cherish. The amazing thing is that now I have the ability to ask myself that question anytime and find the truth beneath my ego.

I was taught to do it a bit differently than Eckhart described. He said that the question is to be asked over and over and not answered. It is in the empty space that you get a sense of your consciousness. I believe that is true. Because I was so wrapped up in my labels that I had to answer the question over and over again. It went something like this;

mom, daughter, woman, ugly, pretty, mom, wife, student, teacher etc.

This went on for some time until the strangest thing happened. I found the word strawberry pop out of my mouth. I burst out laughing at the idea of myself as a strawberry. From there, however, became this awareness that I was connected. I was a part of everything. My answers shifted to things like;

water, rain, clouds, air, birds, stars, milky way, etc. until just like Eckhart said there was no answer. There was only this emptiness, this expansiveness, this consciousness. Mmmmmm, it was a defining moment for me.

They talked about people clinging to their illness and that it is important to shift your attention away from it. To no longer talk about your illness because it empowers the illness. When there is pain, find the parts of the body where the most aliveness can be found and focus on those areas. Pain requires surrender. There are two kinds of pain, physical pain and psychological pain. When the mind complains it creates the psychological pain on top of the physical pain.

Very interesting. I will be reflecting on this and putting it into practice as it seems to be an area I could use some help with.

There was discussion about weight loss and how it is a spiritual process. Oprah said something about allowing yourself to be fed from the energy that is already here. One thing that was said in relation to buying but I think applies to many of us and eating as well was this,

"When you can no longer feel the life that you are, you are likely to try and fill up your life with things."

For me it has been food. Of course I can relate to "things" being used here as well, but seeing how my focus has been on my eating, this struck a chord with me.

I have posted before about the food being used to fill me up, to make me feel good, important, special or comfortable. I would guess that the way to avoid this is to spend time feeling the life that I am, feeling the aliveness in my body, my inner body. I can do this be being present and in the moment often throughout the day.

I realize I have written a lot here today. I have done this as a type of journal for myself and I hope there was a kernal of truth here for you. I want to leave you with a quote I found inspirational:

There is more power in letting go than holding on.


Penni said...

I am behind on the Eckhart teachings as well. I need to get back with it because there is such truth there. I love your writing so much. I don't know anything about the enegram(sp?)...is that something from your journey training?

David and Katrina Rainoshek said...

This was one of those posts that I went "I could have written this!" I am so excited that we are on this journey together, Michelle.

Thanks for sharing.

Love Katrina

Suzie Gorski said...

I love that I found people who are just as behind as me!!! I have two young boys and it is hard to find time to watch and of course read the book as well. but I am very into it!!!