Day 83

Juices in order of consumption
1 liter powdered greens in water

1 quart celery, carrot, lettuce

1 quart celery, cucumber, apple, lettuce

I am still having a really hard time getting these juices down. I am gagging and hating them. I don't want to have the fruit juice because it isn't agreeing with me.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ??

Sleep
9 hours

Supplements
None - I didn't want to take anything that might upset my stomach

Exercise
None

Physically
Heartburn is dying down. I can tell that it is still there under the surface but it's not horrible. Because I went about 29 hours without any juice I was feeling pretty tired and a bit dizzy at times but it really wasn't too bad. After taking the juice I was getting waves of nausea and feeling less than good. Not bad enough to keep me home though.

Emotionally
In the midst of my water fast I had a lot of anger that came up for me. I was pissed at everyone and everything for about 30-45 minutes. I felt like punching someone. After that was over I was in a good mood. We went to Taco Fresco which recently opened. My husband had a burrito and I watched. It was my idea because he LOVES Mexican food and I wanted him to try it. It didn't bother me in the least. After that we went to see a movie.

Cravings
None

Ramblings

Today was a baseball day for me. It was fun to watch my 10 year old out there on the field. The weather was pretty OK. When the sun was out it was nice and when it wasn't it rained. Ha ha, it wasn't freezing though so we weren't complaining.

Not much else to report. I will catch up more tomorrow.

Self Sabotage

Photo by Formfactor on Flickr

I created an audio post for today. It is ten minutes long and talks about self sabotage. You can access it in my green Utterz Player on the right side of the page. I am really looking forward to getting your feedback on it.

Have a great day!

If you can't find the audio on the player to the right you can access it here.

Day 82

Hi everyone,
I am keeping it short tonight. Last night after posting I got a pretty good case of heartburn. It was quite disappointing at this point since I had been free of it for such a long time. I believe it was the large amount of fruit juice that I have been consuming in the last few days.

I really couldn't bring myself to have a vegetable juice this morning so I made a combination of pineapple, goji berry, celery and spinach. I finished about half of it before the heartburn kicked in again. I decided that I was just going to skip juice all together for today so that is what I have done. Just water.

I have a pretty good headache at this point. I probably should hit enemaville but I am just too tired to do it. I have to get up early tomorrow and I have a busy day so I think I will just hit the hay and plan on doing it in the morning. Hopefully I will be up for some juice tomorrow so I can keep up with my busy schedule.

Hope you are all well. xo

Day 81

Photo by Chantal Foster on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart orange, celery, spinach

1 quart celery, pineapple, mango, romaine

1 quart celery, pineapple, mixed salad greens, mango, mint

1 quart celery, orange, romaine, lemon balm

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 142

Sleep
7 hours

Supplements
MSM
Probiotic
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Vitamin D
Cayenne

Exercise
10 minute walk

Physically
All this fruit juice is making my tongue a bit wonky. No sores so I hope it stays like that. I am not used to so much citrus, pineapple and natural sugar. I am surprised I am not more sore today. I feel pretty good.

Emotionally
I was on top of the world today. The weather was so delicious and it made me so happy. I caught myself taking deep breaths of joy all day. It is amazing how much the weather can affect my mood. Love it!

Cravings
None

Ramblings
I went to a local garden store today called The Growing Place. I love this place. It is so cute. I brought my little guy with me and we had fun walking around looking at all the birds, plants, and yard art. I wasn't planning on buying anything because the prices are higher here. I just wanted to get some ideas.

I found out that they have a service they offer where you can bring in photos and dimensions of your yard and they will help you design it. You get a 20 min. appointment for free and if you need more help you can pay $40 for 1 hour. I am definitely going to do it because I want to put a border in my back yard and I don't really know what to plant. I want a mixed border with grasses, flowers, herbs and veggies. I can do the work myself but I want help with the design. So cool.

I ended up buying this basket of salad mix. They said I can keep cutting it back and eating it until July. I also bought some herbs that I am going to put in a container. I got mojito mint, creeping rosemary, lemon balm, and sorrel. I plan on getting basil and cilantro too but they weren't ready just yet.

I got home and made two juices with my new bounty. I cut a bunch of my lettuce and combined it with my mint and I put some lemon balm in the other. It was so cool making juices this way. It gave me a little boost of excitement which I can definitely use at this point.

I have a question for all of you out there. It's something I have been pondering a lot lately. I have begun getting a bit lax with my self care. I haven't been skin brushing as much as I should and I have even skipped showering some days. I am so much cleaner that I don't really need to shower everyday but I guess I feel like I should be doing the contrast shower and skin brushing everyday. I also stopped putting on the coconut oil.

My question is why do you think some people tend to stop doing things that are good for them and are actually enjoyable? I know so many people who actually enjoy certain things like I enjoy skin brushing yet don't make it a priority. Why would we not make time to do things that are positive and that we like? It doesn't make sense yet it happens everyday all over the world. I would love to get some insight on this from all of you brilliant people out there.

Day 80

Photo by Kentigern on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart spinach, orange, spirulina

1/2 quart leaf lettuce, sugar snap peas, garlic, onion, celery

1 quart pineapple, celery, Boston lettuce, mango,

1 quart orange, celery, romaine, chlorella

I have officially developed an aversion to my savory green juice. I can't stand it and I can't seem to finish it. I have tried for the last three days and it is just making me sick. I will stick with the sweet juices for a while and see what happens.

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ???

Sleep
6.5 hours

Supplements
MSM
Probiotic
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Vitamin D
Cayenne

Exercise
Ab exercises
1 hour yoga
10 minute walk

Physically
I am still waking with that groggy feeling each morning. I am hoping the DHA supplement I ordered will help with that. It seems that so much of what I have suffered from can be traced back to a DHA deficiency. DHA is an essential fatty acid. All the types at my local health food store were from fish oil so I ordered a brand online that is from algae. I can't wait for it to get here.

My body is still sore from working out on Monday! Ugh! I worked through it though and got moving. Probably need to do some more cardio but hey, it's better than nothing.

Emotionally
I am in study mode. I have been reading and listening to files for hours on end. I wasn't good about keeping up with all the info on juicefeasting.com so I am trying to get a lot done. This has left little time for emotions.

Cravings
None

Ramblings
Day 80!!! Only 12 days to go! Woo hoo! Watching Ben's prune eating is getting me ready for some juicy prune action of my own. I can't wait to eat food again!

I think my husband is a supertaster. Well not really since I went to the Wikepedia and read it. He fits the profile except he likes beer, chili peppers and has recently begun to like spinach. He does really hate lots of vegetables though. I have eased him into putting spinach in his smoothies and now he likes spinach salads. I have been encouraging him to get a bit more variety and today he told me that he has been choking down his romaine lettuce so he is not enjoying it.

I went to the grocery store and got him some Boston lettuce and arugula to try. I knew the arugula was iffy but I thought that since my husband likes spicy he might like it. No deal. He was gagging and spitting. I put it in my mouth to try it and I have to tell you it was hard to spit it out. I loved it and had dreams of eating it in a salad. Mmmmmm. Hopefully he will like the Boston Lettuce.

So, speaking of going to the grocery store. I have two really funny things to tell you about. Every Sunday my husband goes to Costco to stock up for the week. He gets romaine lettuce, spinach, pineapples, etc. This Sunday when he was checking out the guy asked him if he owned a restaurant. Ha ha. He said, "No, just a big family." He had 6 boxes of spinach, 4 pineapples, 3 cases of oranges, and more.

Today when I was checking out the girl asked me if I was going to eat all of this stuff. She said normally when people have this much lettuce and vegetables they say it's for their turtle! That is so funny to me. I am now like a turtle. :o)

One thing I have noticed on this juice feast is that I have blown through a bunch of different greens and juice combinations. What I mean is that after a while of drinking a certain juice I suddenly can't stand the taste of it anymore. Here is a list of things I once loved and now begin to gag when I just THINK about them:

• Kale
• Bok Choy
• Swiss chard
• pears with greens
• apples with greens
• berries with greens
• cucumber skin in juice

It's a good thing I only have 12 days left. I don't want to run out of things I can drink. The thing is I want to eat these things as food, just not as juice. I am sure I will be able to juice them again some day.

So that's it. Nighty night everyone!

Blog Appreciation!

I have a little surprise for you all today. I recorded an audio message. It is in the sidebar to the right under the graphics for the Nice Matters Award. I hope you enjoy it.

Day 78

Photo by Hold that Tiger on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart orange, celery, spinach, spirulina

shot flax, evening primrose oil

1/2 quart celery, tomato, romaine, garlic, onion, chlorella

1 quart orange celery, spinach

While consuming the second juice of the day I was overcome with nausea and had to stop half way through. I felt a bit sick for a while. I decided to go with a second quart of my favorite juice of the day so I could be happy. :o)

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today ??

Sleep
7 hours

Supplements
MSM
Probiotic
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Vitamin D
Cayenne

Exercise
1 hour yoga
1 mile on treadmill
Weight training

Physically
Other than the nausea I felt good. I was a bit fatigued from the treadmill but I know it will get better the more I do it. It feels good to be working my body more. I should have started a lot sooner. Now I just need to keep it up...now I WILL keep it up.

Emotionally
I am doing pretty good today despite the events of yesterday. I think the workout gave me this inner strength that has helped. Mostly I am feeling pretty good. I am trying to spend some time reflecting on events and how I am feeling about them but I am also trying to stay present with what is going on in the moment too.

Cravings
None

Ramblings
After my yoga class I approached the instructor and asked her if she had any suggestions for exercises I could do to improve my stomach. She took me out to the different stations and showed me 4 ab exercises, 3 leg, and how to use a pull up machine. It was a bit sad how weak I was and I know she was surprised. She said, "You've got a lot of work to do." Ha ha, no kidding. I was really grateful that she took the time to do it so I can continue to work on it.

My oldest son did not come home again today. He stayed at his dad's. I called him to see how he is doing and he seemed a bit short and had a headache so I hope he is OK. He said he is coming home tomorrow for which I am grateful. We need to talk.

My second son played his first baseball game today since getting his cast off. He was so excited. He texted me in the middle of the day to tell me he couldn't wait to play. He was so disappointed when he didn't start (so was I) because the coach told him he would. He didn't get in until the 5th inning so he was a bit disappointed. He had a great hit his first time at bat, stole a base and made it home. Yay!!! He struck out the second time at bat. I promise I won't tell you about every game :o)

The last few days of the juice feasting website have been about vegetarianism and the impact it has on the environment, our bodies, our spirits and our souls. There is so much fantastic information there and I have a deep understanding of the truth in it. It all make perfect sense and there is a part of me that can't seem to say, "I am a vegan. I will never eat meat again in my life." I can say that I will eat a raw, vegan diet but that isn't permanent.

For the most part I don't even want to eat any meat. I am not drawn to it with the exception of my homemade meatballs in the pasta sauce I make. Other than that I can't think of meat that I would want to eat.

As a kid I didn't really like meat all that much either. It wasn't until I started dating my first husband that I started eating lots of meat. I don't know what it is that is keeping me from making the decision to BE a vegan. I have to start making decisions about how I am going to eat when I finish this feast. I am 14 days away from breaking my feast and I think it is a good idea to have a plan.

I am committed to continuing a strict raw diet for the summer for sure. I think it will allow me to continue to detox and clean out and will help my body. I enjoyed eating raw over the summer the last time and I think it is so much easier. I want to continue to eat raw in the fall and winter etc and I don't want to feel as if I can't have an occasional soup or something. Of course there is always the idea of one day at a time and I think that philosophy will transfer from the juice feast to my permanent eating lifestyle.

OK, I really am rambling now. I need to get to bed.

Day 79

Photo by Accrama on Flickr

Juices in order of consumption
1 quart celery, spinach, pineapple, mango, spirulina

1 quart celery, tomato, romaine, garlic, onion, kelp

1 quart celery, orange, pineapple,

1 quart orange, celery, spinach

Weight
Starting 173.5
Today 141.5

Sleep
7 hours

Supplements
MSM
Probiotic
B5 morning and evening
Enzymes with each juice
Vitamin D
Cayenne

Exercise
20 minutes walking

Physically
My body is aching from all of my exercise. Woo! Other than that I feel good.

Emotionally
Emotionally I felt upbeat and positive today. Things seem to be going back to normal around here and I like it. My schedule has picked up now that my son is back to baseball. He has 6 games this week. I haven't felt frazzled at all. I think it is because I don't have to worry about food for the family. All I have to do is make my juice and go. I imagine things are going to change when I have to prepare my food. I don't think it will be too bad though because I can just whip up a salad easy enough. My hubby is OK with continuing with meal prep until I get settled so that is fantastic.

Cravings
Pizza. The kids had it for dinner and it smelled so good.

Ramblings
Penni left me a comment yesterday and I wanted to share it with you all because as usual her words resonated with me.

When I went to Successfully Raw in NYC, I heard a lot about giving up the whole percentage of raw concept. Karen Knowler especially told us to stop it with comparing ourselves..."What % of raw are you? 75%, 85%, 100%?" She said we should all focus the big picture and what is going to work best in each of our individual lives. Somehow that felt really empowering and freeing. I think we must just set our intentions on what is going to be realistic and leave a little room for those rare and special times when we want the meatball treat.

It is so true that I am still caught up in the "all or nothing" approach to eating. I can't seem to wrap my brain around the fact that it is OK to eat a bit of this and a bit of that as long as I am eating well overall. I am hoping this will come in time because I don't want to get frustrated and give up like I did before. You know, as I typed that I really don't think it is a possibility that I could just go back to the way I was before. I really feel like I have grown so much that that is not even realistic. How awesome is that?!

So my juice feasting buddy Ben is breaking his feast today. He posted a video of him eating his first prune. There were so many! Ugh. I don't know how he ate them all. He is so funny he just cracks me up all the time. I am so glad he is a couple of weeks ahead of me. I have enjoyed watching him reach his milestones.

My oldest son is back home today. He got his braces off so I get to see his pearly white smile which is so bizarre after years of metal mouth. He isn't feeling well so we haven't talked too much. I am going to let things go for a bit. We seem to be on good terms though. He just went to bed and thanked me for coming to his volleyball game. I'm not sure he's ever done that.

I have stayed up way to late studying the juice feasting site. I need sleep!

Day 76 and 77

Photo by Rob N Watkins on Flickr

I fell behind on my blogging over the weekend. I went out on Saturday night with my husband and saw the Movie 21. It was nice to get out for a little break. We got home late so I went to bed and didn't post with the intention of posting on Sunday. I can tell you that I had 3 1/2 quarts of juice but I don't remember what they were.

Sunday was a bit of a rough day for me. My mom slept over while watching the kids and we were up in the morning and my oldest son who is 15 started giving me a hard time. He loves to fight with me, argue and generally go against everything I say, think, or do. I would say that is what 15 year old's do but he has been doing it since he was a small boy.

My mom was a little surprised and tried talking to him about it asking him why he was going against me etc. He of course had no answer and my mom finally gave up and left. I of course was left there with him. I was staying pretty calm, trying to focus on myself and not let it get to me. After a bit he went upstairs and things settled down.

I then went on line and checked his grades and it became apparent that he hasn't been doing his school work again and his grades are not good. Now, this is a kid who can get As just by doing his homework. He is smart. I got pretty upset and called him down. I started the conversation in a negative way and then he responded as such. I stopped, apologized for the way I started things, asked him to take a breath with me so we could start things over in a calm way. We were able to do that but things escalated.

In the end we were both responding unconsciously and it was ugly. He said he refused to study and he didn't care and if I didn't leave him alone he would stop going to school altogether. He said he would rather go to jail than to live with me. At this point I called his father (who doesn't live with me) and told him to pick him up.

While waiting for his dad to come we both had a good cry and were able to talk a bit but he left. His dad said he would call me after he talked with him and he never did. I don't know what is going on. I spent the day in my pajamas feeling pretty lousy.

I have a lot of mixed feelings around this. I of course want him to stay here with me and I want him to be happy and if he feels he can't do that here then I don't want to stop him from being with his dad. It is very difficult though so I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I realize that I am having a hard time staying in the present moment with this situation. I am either thinking about it or distracting myself by doing other things. Being conscious is so hard! Being a mom is so hard!

I know I had 4 quarts of juice and I could probably remember what they are if I tried but I don't really care and they are pretty much the same as every other day I have juice :o) Things will get better.