Monday, March 24, 2008

Week 8 Review

Last night after my last post I spent a lot of time in reflection. I was up late and just trying to stay open. I went to bed still feeling confused and as I lie in bed I took off this new karma bead bracelet that I got and I went around to each bead and repeated, "Show me the way." From there I left it alone and drifted off to sleep.



I woke up at 8:00 and knew I should get myself in gear to go to yoga at 8:30. Of course I love yoga so it was wonderful and I left the gym feeling exhilarated and happy.


When I got home I sat down at my computer and here is the next 3 things I read:


  1. Impatience is a sign of hurrying; hurrying is a sign of worrying; worrying is a sign of fear; and fear is a sign, Michelle, that someone has temporarily forgotten that it's never too late to change their thoughts and therefore their "things." And for these reasons, time will forever be on their side.
  2. Success doesn't come to you – you go to it.-- Marva Collins
  3. The following came from The Living Vision:
    I know that to get to where I am an expression of my essence, I must push and go beyond the comfort zone, to reshape my body mind, and chizle it’s form to be a proper dwelling place for the spirit it’s been entrusted to.

OK, OK, if the video last night wasn't enough I get it, I get it. I will stay! I will persevere! I will not allow myself to succumb to the Self Sabotage Loulou talks about in this post. I believe this may be what is going on here. I found this class a while ago and it struck something in me. I haven't signed up for it and I think now might be the perfect time to do so.


I realized that there is much about the juice feast that I haven't been following. I have not been eating the bee pollen, I have not been taking spirulina or chlorella, I have not been taking the MSM, and you all know I haven't been doing the oil. So, I am such a nerd that I created a spreadsheet with spaces for each meal and each supplement that I am taking so I can keep track and not forget.

I have a renewed sense of energy and I am reminded that everyday can be the first day of my life.

Today is the Very First Day of the Rest of my Life

This is the Beginning of a New Day.
I Can Waste It ... or Use It For Good.
But What I Do Today is Important,
Because I am Exchanging a Day of My Life For It.
Leaving in It's Place Something That I Have Traded For It.
I Want It to Be Gain and Not Loss,
Good and Not Evil,
Success and Not Failure,
in Order That I Not Regret the Price I Have Paid For It.
I Will Give 100% of Myself Just For Today,
For You Never Fail Until You Stop Trying.
I Will Be the Kind of Person I have Always Wanted To Be ...
I Have Been Given This Day to Use as I Will.
I want to thank all of you for riding my roller coaster with me...up and down, up and down. I want to thank you for your words of encouragement and your support because I truly, from the bottom of my heart appreciate it.
I want to talk a moment about the picture that I posted today. It was created by Mara Berendt. It is titled, Return Home My Angel. I think it is absolutely beautiful and something spoke to me in it. I see myself in that painting, soaring and flying free. Shedding this unhealthy and limited body for a new, vibrant and healthy body. One that is loved and honored and at peace.

4 comments:

Lisa, aka Pixywinks said...

Yay! I'm so glad you are staying on with the feast. I really wanted you too, but I know that it's your decision to make. I just mostly want you to feel like you are happy and satisfied with where you leave the feast at whatever day it is. I struggle with it too, some days and want to quit, but I will always wonder what would have happened had I gone the distance. So for now my decision is to go 92 just to see what it brings.
Keep on keeping on,
Pixy

Hanlie said...

I'm also happy! My intuition tells me you're not "done" yet. We've still got a ways to go, my friend.

Beautiful picture!

Linda in the Raw said...

yes! I'm happy too! If this is what's right for you, you should definately stay - and stop looking at raw food porn, it's not making it any easier!!

There's more transformation for you. Loving the ride together!

xoxo,
Linda

Ben Kaelan said...

I'm glad you're staying on to. I've been considering breaking early too but my 'gut' keeps telling me to go the distance.

You asked about the zapper and I forgot to reply. The thing is, I haven't seen anything 'come out' yet. When I first started using it, I couldn't leave it on for very long without having to move it... like 5 minutes tops. Now, I can leave it on for hours before I have to move it... I'm not really sure what that means. You don't really feel anything when it's on... but then suddenly it starts hurting like a BITCH.... and you have to move it :P My coworkers think it's funny because mid-sentence I'll burst out in OW OW OW OW OW !!! and reach down my pants and 'adjust' the zapper. It looks kinda weird :P hahahhahaa

The only thing I have noticed so far was that since I started using it, I started having daily BMs on the juice feast. I was having a lot of problem with that before.

I mean... I'm giving it a shot. I saw some pretty impressive video on youtube that shows parasites being zapped by it.... and when I read this comment from a woman who says it cured her husband of psoriasis in 6 weeks... I figured 'what the hell, I'll add it to the plethora of things I'm doing on the JF".

I really feel like I'm on the attack; I was telling my dad... if psoriasis was cancer, I would not be leaving any stone unturned... I'd be quitting my job, trying every holistic treatment known to man to cure myself. Why am I not doing that for psoriasis? I mean... I'm not going to quit my job to fight it but... I'm doing juice feasting, organic veggies, tons and tons of supplements, yoga, chiropractors, massages, ionic foot baths, alkaline diet (inadvertently), acuped foot pads, the zapper.... the fight is on my friend... I'm going to beat this! :)

Hugs! :)

- Ben